Page 104 of Emma
Vanessa smiled. “I’m admiring. We went over this last night.”
Emma groaned as she buried her face back into Vanessa’s chest. “Fine. Admiring. Whatever.”
“Oh, you love it.” Vanessa teased, but her hand didn’t stop its soothing pattern along Emma’s spine. “How are you feeling?”
Emma rolled onto her back and exhaled a deep breath. “Good. Better than good, actually. This morning I feel so content, babe. Like, everything is as it should be.”
It was Vanessa’s turn to snuggle into Emma this time. “That’s all I ever want for you.”
Emma wrapped an arm around Vanessa and held her close. “I know, and I love you for it.”
Vanessa kissed her slowly, tasting sleep and warmth and everything that grounded her. When she pulled back, Emma was smiling, her eyes drifting shut again. “Hey.”
“Mm?” Emma cracked one eye open and lifted a brow.
“I love you. Don’t ever forget that. I love you more than anything in this world, Emma.”
Emma tightened the arm around Vanessa and shifted down the bed a little. “I love you, too. More than anything in this world.”
As Vanessa lay there, the sunlight washing over them both, she thought about the balance they’d carved out. Madam gave Emma the release she craved, the control she needed to hand over when her world was spinning too fast…and Vanessa gave her that anchor afterwards. She gave her steady and safe arms to fall into, and the reminder that she was safe.
“We should sleep a bit longer,” Emma said quietly.
“Why?”
“For the simple reason that I can’t be arsed moving.”
Vanessa relaxed fully into their bed again and smiled as she pressed a kiss to Emma’s collarbone. “That sounds like a perfectly valid reason to me.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Emma pulledher knees up on the couch, tucking them beneath the blanket as she swirled her tea absently in her mug. The fairy lights they’d strung across the living room window glowed faintly against the dark December night, reminding her that she was about to do her third Christmas with her wife. Vanessa was opposite her, sprawled comfortably with a book in her hand, though Emma knew she hadn’t turned a page in the last ten minutes. Her wife had that knack. Shealwaysknew when Emma was working something up in her head.
“Everything okay?” Vanessa glanced up at Emma. “You’ve been quiet this evening.”
“Yeah, everything is okay.”
Vanessa lifted a brow in Emma’s direction. “You’ve spent the last ten minutes chewing your lip. You haven’t touched most of your tea.” Vanessa set her book down. “So, what is it?
Emma sighed as she tugged the blanket higher over her legs. “I’ve been thinking about Christmas.”
“Oh, God. Don’t. I still can’t believe it’s crept up on us.”
Emma laughed. Vanessa had spent the last week or so panicking that she didn’t have anything ready. Only she did, and Emma knew it. Her wife had purchasedallof Daisy’s Christmaspresents before they’d even gone back to work in September. And Emma…well, she didn’t need gifts to know Vanessa loved her. “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t been preoccupied with everything else that’s going on. I think we’re allowed to be a little bit shit at it this year.”
“Absolutely not. If it kills me, we’ll have a perfect Christmas.” Vanessa sat up straight and cleared her throat. “So, when you say you’ve been thinking about Christmas, what exactly have you been thinking about?”
Emma shifted a little and faced Vanessa fully. “I was wondering if I should invite Carmen, Ben, and Freya over for Christmas dinner?”
Surprise flickered across Vanessa’s face as her lips parted. “I mean, that’s…a big step, baby.”
“I know.” Emma ran a hand through her hair, fighting back the hint of nerves she felt. “And I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself, but these last few weeks…they’ve been so good. Freya’s been here for dinner five times now, and she certainly made herself at home on the couch with her hot chocolate, while she laughed at my terrible film choices. We’ve done the arcades together, as we promised her, and when I saw her at school yesterday, she wouldn’t stop talking about the popcorn at the cinema last weekend. It’s been…” Emma swallowed. “It’s been way more than I thought I’d ever get.”
Vanessa reached across the couch and laid her hand over Emma’s. “It’s been wonderful having her here. She’s really coming out of her shell when she’s around us.”
Emma exhaled a shaky breath. “Exactly. And I keep thinking that Christmas is supposed to be about family, right? And now that I have her, I don’t want to spend it without her. But then I panic because what if I invite them and Carmen shuts me down? What if she thinks I’m pushing too much? Christmas is ahugedeal, and I’m not stupid enough to think otherwise.”
Vanessa’s thumb brushed over the back of her hand, steadying Emma. “Maybe she will say no, but if she does, you’ll respect it. Still, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. And after everything lately, I don’t think it’s pushing. I think it’s natural to want to spend Christmas with her.”
