Page 18 of All This Love
They were currently at the movies, and she was spending the weekend with my parents. Though they helped me with her frequently, they never got tired of her. Angel was the only grandchild. My parents had two extra rooms in their house, and one of them had been turned into Angel’s room. She lovedspending time with them. Meanwhile, I didn’t know what to do with my free time. I had already cleaned the house. The plan was to read and binge watch a TV show, but the ache between my thighs reminded me how long it had been since I’d last had sex.
Onyx wasn’t getting any of my nookie anytime soon, but my being horny made me think of him. Whether or not I should give Onyx another chance had me stressing. I had been trying extremely hard to forget him, but it wasn’t working. We had only known each other a short time, so why thoughts of him were lingering, I had no clue. Prior to me meeting him, it was nothing for me to ghost a guy after a few conversations. The moment I started seeing red flags or got the ick, I was out of there with no hesitation.
It was a little harder for me to shake, Onyx, however. Thoughts of him weren’t going to taper off anytime soon, so with a frown on my face, I called him. When he answered, I rolled my eyes. I really couldn’t believe myself.
“Angel isn’t here, and I’m bored. I don’t know why I called you,” I mumbled. “Because we for sure aren’t having sex.”
Onyx laughed. “Who said anything about sex?”
“I’m just letting you know because I want it to be clear. Don’t think if I have a few conversations with you or let you take me out on a date that means you’re going to end up in my bed.”
“If you say no sex that’s what it is, and I understand loud and clear. You dressed? I can come scoop you. We can do something boring and basic like dinner.”
That got a smile out of me. I was so glad Onyx couldn’t see my face. Smiling and blushing after the shit he pulled was insane. But there I was happy as hell like an idiot. “I can be dressed in thirty minutes. I’ll make a reservation at my favorite Italian restaurant. If you’re wearing jeans and sneakers, go home and change. This is a nice place.”
“Gotcha. Give me an hour to get home and change and another fifteen minutes to get to you.”
“Okay.”
The fact that I was excited about the date had me perturbed, but it was what it was. “My baby daddy is gay,” I randomly blurted out as I walked into my bedroom. That phrase popped into my head at least three times a day. There were times it made me laugh, and there were times it made me want to vomit. I wasn’t a fan of anal sex. Even if I was, I wouldn’t want a man to put his raw penis in my anus and then put it in my vagina. So, I damn sure didn’t want a man that put his penis in someone else’s then came home to me. Every time I thought about it, I wanted to gag. I didn’t believe in douching, but Ivan’s ass had me ready to do all types of flushing. If he wanted to be gay that was his gay ass business, but why throw my vagina in the mix?
I had to force myself to stop thinking about Ivan and his sexual preference before I got mad. Onyx asked me out on a date because I reached out to him. There was no need for me to even meet up with him if I was going to have an attitude. After dressing in a red, knee-length dress with spaghetti straps and white sandals, I was ready to go. I chose not to wear any makeup because I just didn’t feel like putting any on, but I was still cute. There was a time when I used makeup to hide my freckles, but I had grown to like them and didn’t like covering them up.
When I opened the door for Onyx and saw how good he looked, I almost slammed it in his face. Not having sex with him was going to be hard, but I was determined to do it. He was going to have to put in major work for me to ever go there with him again. The aroma of his cologne snapped me out of the daze that I was in.
“You look nice.” I complimented his white jeans, white and gold button up shirt, and white sneakers. Onyx was looking realscrumptious. Despite my compliment, I wasn’t going to do too much.
“Thank you, but you look better.”
“Thanks.” Stepping outside, I closed and locked the door before following Onyx to the car. He opened the door for me, and I once again thanked him.
“How was work today?” the moment he got in the car, Onyx initiated conversation.
“It was cool. I don’t leave every day with a bank roll, but thank God I do good most days. Even on a light day, I can usually leave work with at least $300. That’s better than nothing. Friday, Saturday, and the day before holidays, I do really good.”
Onyx bobbed his head. “I’m happy to hear that. I know how hard you work for yourself and Angel. I’m glad that doing nails is fun for you and lucrative.”
“Me too. I didn’t hate my last job, but it wasn’t something that I woke up every morning excited to do. Everyone in the shop I work at is tolerable, and they get great business. So far so good.”
`“I’ve still been selling weed, but I officially, start at the garage next week. Actually, earning a paycheck is going to be weird, but I’m not mad at it. Once I get comfortable enough to stop selling weed, I’ll go ahead and wrap that up.”
“You decided to stay?”
He glanced over at me. “Yeah. I was going to stay with my father for a month or two and stack some bread along with spending time with him. After catching Ivan there, I started second guessing it. My pops told me he doesn’t have company like that, but I’m not trying to intrude on what he has going on.”
“I know a few people with two moms. Like, their mother was gay and got with a woman. But I don’t know of anyone that’s admitted to having a gay father. How do you feel about that?” I was genuinely curious.
“I used to hate it. After he got beat up and left town, I was known as ‘that gay nigga’s son.’ Even if a person wasn’t disrespecting my father directly, they pissed me off with the ignorant comments they used to make. I stayed fighting and getting in trouble. My ass was angry, and I blamed my father. It took me a while to get it. He was a damn good father, and that was all that should matter. What he did in his bedroom didn’t have anything to do with me.”
“I’m really glad you stopped being angry with him. It always breaks my heart when I hear of a parent disowning a child for being gay. I never thought about someone disowning their parent. That can’t feel good.”
“I know right. It would have been easy to do if he was a shitty parent. There was never a time that I needed him that he wasn’t there. He was more than an active father. There was no way I could forget all that and do him dirty because of his sexual preference. And there was never one person that talked slick about me or my pops that beat my ass. I beat up so many people my nickname turned into Ali.”
“I know that’s right,” I laughed. So far, I was glad that I hit Onyx up. It seemed that he was truly past what happened with him and Ivan enough to where getting Ivan back wasn’t at the top of his priority list.
Dates and conversations didn’t mean automatic love connections. And liking one another didn’t mean compatibility. Only time would tell where things went with Onyx and I, and I was going to stop focusing on the outcome.
Whoever the chef was that evening put their all into the food because every single thing that we ordered was delicious. The date was a ten out of ten for me, and the fact that I didn’t regret reaching out to Onyx would be one of the reasons I slept well. Only time would tell if that fact would remain.
