Page 17 of All This Love
Ten minutes after I texted her and halfway through my blunt, Tatum texted me back. I was shocked when she told me her last appointment was at three, and I could come by the shop. That worked for me. I still wasn’t sure if I was going to remain at my father’s house, so in between selling weed, I drove aroundand looked for various townhouses, apartment complexes, and homes. I wanted something in a nice neighborhood. Some two bedroom upscale shit. I arrived at the nail shop a few minutes after four.
I didn’t know Tatum well enough to have a clue of how she would respond to my news. I wasn’t sure how many more clients she may get for the rest of the day, and it dawned on me that maybe I should have given her the news after she got off. If I met with her only to tell her that I would give her the news later, that might piss her off too and make me look like I was playing games. From my peripheral, I saw her walking toward my car. There was no backing out now.
Tatum got in my car smelling like cookies and vanilla or some shit. I looked over at her, and her braids were gone. She rocked her thick, natural, tresses slicked back into a high ponytail that reached the nape of her neck. There wasn’t an ounce of makeup on her face, and I realized how dope I thought her unique features were. When Tatum’s brows slightly hiked it made me aware that I was doing too much studying her and not enough talking about why I was there.
“I have to tell you something, and I’m pretty sure you won’t receive it well. I wasn’t even going to tell you because I’m the type of person to mind my business, but my conscious is fucking with me.” Tatum’s expression remained blank. Her eyes, however, showed a hint of panic.
“Ivan is gay. Shit, bisexual maybe, I guess. I don’t know about that the specifics, but he has kids, so he deals with women too.”
“Gay?” she said the word slowly. It was laced with suspicion like she was skeptical.
“I know we don’t know each other that well, but I can promise you, no matter how much I hate a nigga, I’d never lie on a man about something like this. I wouldn’t even go around telling everybody. And I know you don’t care for him like that,but shit, you never know what could change in the future, and I wanted you to know in case you ever got the urge to sleep with him again. Whether you choose to believe me is on you.”
Tatum’s lips parted slightly but no words came out. She stared at me for a few moments more than likely trying to process what I had told her. “And you know this how?” she finally asked.
“I caught him leaving the nigga’s house.”
Tatum’s eyes narrowed. “And why were you at the nigga’s house?”
The accusatory tone made me chortle. Again, I wasn’t the type to tell the next person’s business, but I needed her to know I wasn’t lying. And also, that I wasn’t gay either. “The nigga is my father.”
Tatum drew back. Her frown deepened for a brief second before she laughed. “Yooooo, Onyx. I don’t know what…” her voice trailed off. “I have a headache.” She began to massage her temples.
“My pops is gay. Been that way his whole life apparently, but he dealt with my mom a handful of times I guess to see if he could really deal with a woman like that. There isn’t a feminine bone in his body. My father joined a gang at twelve and was a damn menace for half his childhood. He gave my grandmother hell. One day, he was laid up with another man, and the man’s girl caught them. She told anybody that would listen, and my pops’ gang turned on him. He got jumped by some of his closest friends and was damn near beaten to death.”
Tatum released a low gasp.
“He left Charlotte and moved here. He spends his days working on cars. My father minds his business and stays out the way, but he likes what he likes, and I don’t judge him for it. He’s always been a damn good father, and that’s all I care about. Not who he chooses to sleep with. He doesn’t deal with women eitherin an effort to prove to others that he’s not gay. He’s not all the way out either. I don’t know who knows he’s gay, but he keeps who he sleeps with private and out the way. I’ve never met a man that he was dealing with until I pulled up at his crib the other night and saw Ivan leaving.”
Tatum’s eyes closed, and she dropped her head back. I waited until her eyes were open and back on me before I continued. “The moment I saw him, I jumped out of the car ready to kill him. Him being gay never even crossed my mind. I’m thinking he found out who my pops was and had done something to him to try and get back at me. It didn’t take me long to realize I was wrong about that.”
“Wow, wow, fucking wow,” Tatum stated in a low tone. “Wow! I don’t even know what to say. This man has like four kids. Every time I turn around, he’s with a different woman. Oh my God, I think I’m going to be sick.” She placed one hand flat on her chest and stared ahead for a few seconds.
I wasn’t sure what to say to her. Shit, however, she felt she had the right to feel that way.
“I haven’t slept with him in a long ass time. Like more than a year, and I’ve been tested at least three times since then, so I’m not worried about any kind of disease but that’s still, ew.” She shook her head. “I can’t even think about if he’s the one being penetrated or the one doing the penetrating.”
I frowned because I damn sure didn’t want to think about it either. Tatum inhaled a deep breath, held it for a second, then released it.
“Thank you for telling me. Ivan could be the straightest man on the planet, and I’d still never deal with him ever in life, and I put that on everything. But still, I appreciate you letting me know. The fact that he saw you, and he knows that you know,” Tatum chuckled. “I’m sure he’ll never show his face to me again and honestly, I don’t even care.”
“I miss you,” I blurted out. It might not have been the best time to do so, but I wanted to tell her before she got out of my car. Tatum simply sighed. “I know you don’t trust me. You shouldn’t. I was dead ass wrong, and I take responsibility for it. You don’t owe me a second chance, but if you give me one, you won’t regret it. All I can do is show you because at this point, words don’t mean anything.”
“Everything you said is one hundred percent true. I just need some time, Onyx. I wasn’t a big fan of dating, but I let my guard down, and I gave you a chance. I can’t just bounce back from feeling stupid.”
It was my turn to sigh. I was frustrated, but it was my fault. Tatum wasn’t wrong for how she felt. “You’re right, and I’m sorry I made you feel stupid, but you shouldn’t. Jokes on me because I did some shit to get underneath Ivan’s skin, and it backfired on me. I really fell for you.”
“Good. Now, you deserve to sweat. Maybe I’ll call you sometime. Maybe I won’t.” She stuck her tongue out at me making me laugh before she got out of the car.
I watched her walk into the shop before pulling off. I had it bad for sure.
nine
tatum
I kissedmy teeth and sighed dramatically as calling Onyx crossed my mind for the tenth time. It had been two weeks since he dropped the bombshell on me about Ivan being gay. Fourteen days later, and I was still utterly disgusted. I knew gay didn’t have a specific look but got damn. The entire situation was crazy to me, and I only believed it because even though Onyx’s track record wasn’t the best, I doubted he would lie to me about his dad being gay.
Ivan also had to be super embarrassed because he hadn’t reached out to me at all. He had never been father of the year, but he did half-ass check on Angel at least twice a month. I wanted to be angry, but it really didn’t even matter. If he wasn’t going to be consistent, I didn’t want him around my child anyway. I didn’t even want to get her used to him popping in and out of her life and not being dependable. Ivan could just get gone and stay gone. Angel had my father.
