Page 100 of The Dandelion Princess
His words echo in my mind all the way back to my flat—past Felix, up the elevator. They stay with me as I discard my tie and twist open the top button of my shirt, through the first tumbler of whisky and into the second as I burn through work. It’s late when I finish. My view is spectacular, set in the modern quarter of Handsel and surrounded by metal and glass, but opening up to the ancient parts of the city and the glowing palace on the hill. What’s stopping me from Ella?
Nothing, when I figure out how to get what I want.
My gaze shifts from the lights on the hill to my reflection.
Ella accepted me as an occasional distraction, but I take a long, deep breath. I can never go back to being just friends. On that, my mind is suddenly very, very clear.
I barge into my home office and tear apart the room until I find a legal pad,thelegal pad—the same one I used when I sketched out my plans for getting into Stanford, founding Han Heyden, and relocating it to Sondmark. I don’t use this for grocery lists. I scrawl her name at the top of a page, slightly crispy with age.
Ella. I strike two lines under it and tap my pen. I add an asterisk.*Girlfriend, Wife,Vrouwheidvan Heyden.I can’t be half-hearted or chase myself into dead ends. Losing her will drive me insane. I drum the pen on the page. What’s it going to take to get my girl? Ink spools from the point.
Deliver Torbald.
If that’s what she wants, that’s what she gets. If this involves a little light law-breaking? Well, what a time to be alive.
Offer freedom.
The monarchy has narrow rules and she is determined to follow them, but I know Ella—and I know what she needs tobe happy. The sacrifices she’s willing to make for her family are always going to hurt if she doesn’t have a certain degree of freedom.
I chew my lip. She tells me she’s considering someone suitable. I grin, remembering how many kisses she stole behind her family’s back. Ella says she would take a—what was it?—clapped out Motovian aristocrat, but I don’t buy it. Suitable is not what she really wants.
I scrawl the words.
Be unsuitable.
When my head finally hits the pillow, I am resolved. A photo ofAmmaand Alix rests on my nightstand, but a strip of black and white photos tucked into the frame draws my attention. I never gave them to my sister. Even then, I had no intention to. Ella’s face laughs up at mine and I take a large breath. I have a plan. I know what I want. My arm falls across the massive bed and I feel an invisible weight.
Her.
Here.
Forever.
31
Cheap Wine
ELLA
I thought I was prepared for the pain. Breaking things off with Marc was always going to hurt, but tonight was far worse than something a few processed snacks and bed rot can solve. Relegating our relationship to the chirpy, heatless boundaries of friendship isn’t a paper cut. This time, it feels like a folded steel blade dividing my flesh from my bones.
My first thought is to numb these emotions with gaming, rounding up enough of our team to do a late-nightSquadRuncampaign, and sacrifice an unheard-of number of life points as I drive pitilessly toward the goal. Rescue the princess. We’re always after theflamenprincess.
No one is happy when we log off, and the night stretches ahead of me with nothing to do but think. No, thank you. So I shrug on my hoodie and reach for my wallet. I race down the staircase and almost crash into Caroline Tiele crossing the Great Hall.
She curtsies, apologizing for my clumsiness, and her gaze sharpens on my face. I will not cry.
“Ma’am—”
“Ella,” I snap. “You’re older than I am.”
She’s silent so long that blood drains out of my cheeks and guilt rises out of my mouth.Vede.“I’m sorry,VrouwTiele. I didn’t mean— I’m not in a good place and…and… I’m sorry.”
My voice rises higher and higher with each word.
She should accept the crumb and retreat into the hedgerow of propriety, pretending she doesn’t see anything that goes on around here. Instead, she plucks at her lip with a row of endearingly uneven teeth and steps beyond the clear boundaries separating a royal princess from the palace help. “Caroline,” she corrects. “Where are you headed?”
“To get a drink somewhere.”
