Page 85 of The Midnight Princess
Maybe Jacob doesn’t see how far, but I do. It’s not too late to go back to what we were before. I shake my head, “You didn’t need to know.”
“Alma,” he growls, like the roar of Ulek the bear. “Don’t pretend with me.”
I dig through a collection of set expressions and practiced phrases, praying for one which will send him back to the party feeling like he had it wrong but that I haven’t wronged him.
The longer I search, the more frantic I become. Wearing my royal persona used to be as easy as a knight in his armor, but I feel the clang and pinch of each piece as it’s unbuckled and cast aside. When Jacob is around, the heaviness of chain mail is lifted from my shoulders, and I am vulnerable.
The thought sends a shaft of panic through me. “That’s a personal question.”
Jacob’s face is stern and unbending. He narrows the distance between us. “Are you engaged?”
I swallow a knot in my throat, and press my palms flat against the door at my back. “What does the news say?”
The air shifts. I train my eyes on the tiny dots in his tie, and his voice drops as he braces his hands on either side of my head, looking at me straight on. “What’s the truth?”
There isn’t enough room between us for evasion.
I run my tongue over dry, unsteady lips, and music from the flat weaves through my veins. He’s so close and he smells so good and I’m so tired of running. I lift my eyes, dismantling the last of my defenses. “I broke it off at Christmas. When—”
In a heartbeat, the distance between us vanishes. His mouth is on mine, hot, hungry, and demanding a response. I kiss him back, crushing rich wool suiting in my fists, and working my way closer as a not insignificant number of my brain cells go up in flames.
Finally.Finally.
Cradled between a door and a future king, I can’t slow my pace. Jacob brushes his fingers along my neck, thumb resting in the hollow behind my ear, fitting me to him piece by piece. With every kiss, we mend the damage I caused by a lifetime of living like a miser, doling out affection one thin penny at a time.
His arm circles my waist, pulling me up to my toes, and his chest rises and falls under my hands. I feel every broken breath and some distant voice—some distant Alma—tells me it’s too soon. That’s what they’ll say if anyone ever finds out about this. They’ll say Jacob is a rebound.
I sigh against his lips.
There isn’t room for a crowd of judgmental strangers—not my mother, her prime minister, or members of esteemed financial institutions—on this tiny landing. Just us.
He lifts his head, and I wait for second thoughts to run up on me like a tide. But I dance away, out of their reach, pulling his head down, kissing him, breathing in his scent again.
“Alma.” His voice is husky. He sags against the door, and when he straightens his hands band my wrists. He pulls away, settling against the far wall, a tuck in his cheek.
I walk into his arms because creating distance is stupid when we don’t have to. I can’t think—I don’t want to think—but I knowI belong there. He folds me close and strokes my back with a shaking hand.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.
I look up. “No one was supposed to know. Just family.”
His cold fingers trace a path down the back of my arm, and I shiver. He rests his cheek on my hair. “Couldn’t you see—”
“I didn’t think it would matter,” I say.
He gives my shoulders a light shake.It matters.
“You were going back to Vorburg. You weren’t supposed to be”—I search for a word—“you.”
“You weren’t supposed to be you, either,” he laughs. Jacob lowers his head, mouth sinking against mine for a quick kiss. This is why he had to know. Because we’ve wanted to do this for weeks. Because every time he looks at me, I see it, and every time I look at him, I am undone.
He lifts his head a fraction and rubs the back of his hand against my cheek. “I deserved to know you weren’t engaged.”
My brain cells are fighting for their lives. “Pietor and I are still engaged as far asThe Holy PelicanandPAPZandSondmark Sports Fishing Monthlyknows. We have to be.”
His hand checks and his eyes blaze. “The hell you do.”
As much as I want to stay here, he has to understand. As I step out of his arms, the cold night air beyond the glass envelops me, and I shiver.
