Page 27 of Stay Close
My stomachchurns with all the things I want to say. “So what are you going to do about it?” This may be the bravest I have ever been.
“I’m out of the country for stretches at a time. I can’t keep a cat or a houseplant. I get shot at. That’s why I’m single.”
I try to sit up, but he pulls me close again.
“I know, I know,” he says. “It’s too much.”
“I didn’t say—”
“You will. So let me have this.”
The fire pops in the grate. It warms my toes and face. I have questions. Is he always out of the country? How many times has he been shot? Does he like dogs? Instead of asking them, I watch his face in the shifting light. I’ve never seen him so calm and unworried. When the armor of professionalism drops off him, he looks content.
After a few minutes, he drifts to sleep, and though I intend on keeping watch over him, I close my eyelids when they grow heavy.
I wake when he shifts. I hear my involuntary murmur. “No—”
The fire is low, and the nearest lamp has been switched off.
“You have work in the morning,” he says.
I know. I reach for him anyway.
He stands, lacing my fingers in his. “Tomorrow will be an ordinary day,” he says. I feel like he’s giving me a briefing report. “We’ll leave at nine, lunch at noon, and return to the palace atfour.” He gives the tiniest swing of his hands and frowns. “I have to keep you safe. I can’t keep you safe if we do this.”
He’s not some retro game show host with two doors and a fistful of cash. I’m not being offered a choice.
“A few kisses,” I say, downplaying the significance, hoping he buys it, “doesn’t mean I’m asking for a commitment.” I sit up, marshaling my strongest arguments. I’m a legal genius. Everybody says so. “People kiss all the time. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
An affectionate smile touches his mouth. He leans over and kisses me quickly. “We’re not ‘people.’”
It’s not a coherent argument. I could pick it apart in a thousand ways, using precedents and footnotes. But I know what he means. If I kiss him, it’s going to mean something. If he kisses me back, same deal.
CHAPTER 10
Lucas
Instead of trying tosleep, I call Black Swan HQ, getting through to my boss for a video chat.
“Make it quick, Castillo. Suzie’s waiting at home. It’s our anniversary.”
“How many years, sir?”
“Thirty-two. We’re putting up the big numbers.”
I dredge out the details of his personal life. Married once. Two daughters. One grandkid. I don’t ask him how he managed that in security work. Instead, I say, “I want to know when I’m getting back into the field.”
“You are in the field.”
I think of the gilded hallways I traveled to get to my room. The high palace walls and security team are doing my job even when I’m not. I think of holding Edie in my arms. This is not the field.
“Have you talked to Everett?” he asks, the silk tie straining against his neck. “He’s devoted three years in New York to the same client. What makes you better than that?”
Everett is a strong man. I think of three years with Edie. I wouldn’t survive. “I want a real assignment. I heard we’re going after the Vidovic Group.” That’s what I need right now, the pleasant distraction of hunting down drug runners, human traffickers, and weapons dealers.
Gideon growls. “I saw the footage Scotty sent up from tech. Our client is lucky you were there. Has she been cooperating?”
I rub my face, deep in the memory of how cooperative Edie’s been. I need to look for an exit now, before it gets more serious.
