Page 94 of A Me and You Thing
I swallow, and it seems overly loud. “Your famous pancakes? My mouth is watering already.”
“So is mine. For other reasons.”
I place my hand over his, loving his touch. I need to feel close to my husband, to renew our connection. The situation in the house needs to be resolved as soon as possible.
Currently, he has to live with the person he just broke up with and his newly found wife. To say the situation is problematic doesn’t accurately describe it.
“How are we going to do... this?” By this, I mean everything. How do we deal with Bree? How do we transition into a family again? How do we jumpstart our relationship?
“I don’t know yet. The only thing I do know is as long as I have you, the rest is minutiae. I have the most important thing right here. I do have some issues to resolve though, but you don’t need to worry for one second about any of them. They’re not your problems. You, my dear, no longer have any problems. It’s smooth sailing for you. Deal?”
I try to smile, but it’s more of a grimace. “Deal.”
He doesn’t want me to experience stress, but he doesn’t realize that keeping his worries from me makes it worse. I feel cut out when I want to feel close, be a team. We’re in this together. His problemsaremy problems. That’s how marriage works.
The sooner I regain my heath and can take over watching the girls full time, the better.
That’s the one subject we avoided last night—we’re still avoiding it. Does he trust me with our daughters? The thought makes me sick inside. I want to be a mother to my baby girls.
Sawyer tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Hey, I need to talk with Bree today, work some things out. Just so you know.”
“Okay.” Sawyer made his intentions quite clear to Bree last night. I can’t imagine what else they need to talk about. Bree was pretty upset, understandably, and I suppose “working things out” is her due.
Even though Bree was upset, he stayed with me last night. He comforted me. He held me. Shouldn’t that send me a message?
Yes, it should. I need to quit with the insecurity and trust Sawyer. He’s not a man who offers lip service to make others feel better. If he wanted Bree, he’d tell me.
I think.
I have to hang onto every ounce of understanding inside of me to get through this. “I think I’ll take a shower and meet you downstairs.”
“Okay.” He cups my cheek. “I love you, Quinn. I love you so much. You know that, right?”
I nod and wonder if I should hide out in my room all day in the name of resting while he “works things out” with Bree. I’d rather not witness their drama. “Would it be better if I stay up here while you work through... everything?”
“No. This is your home. You don’t need to hide. By the way, our mothers are out shopping for clothes and other things you desperately need. They’ll be here this afternoon to see you and they’re bringing lunch for just the three of you. You need some girl time.”
“I have a lunch date?”
“You sure do.”
That makes me smile. “Thank goodness for mothers.”
“Yeah, love those two. Okay, see you downstairs.” He leans down and kisses me softly. “This is crazy. I wanna kiss you without feeling guilty.”
We breathe each other in as I realize those words explain so much. “I want that too.”
“We did a good job of it last night.” His lips smile against mine.
“Yes, we did.”
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life kissing you, Mrs. Denali. Prepare yourself.” He leaves the room smiling, but his eyes are consumed with worry. He can’t hide it. I know him too well.
Something tells me this is going to get harder before it gets easier. He must be overcome with guilt for breaking things off with Bree. I know it wasn’t easy on him. Hurting someone you love is agonizing. I love her and hurt for her too. And for Sawyer. And for me.
I pull myself out of bed. My body feels heavier than usual. As I make my way toward the bathroom, I pause in front of the small accent table. And once again, I wonder.
I open the drawer, hopeful. But I’m met with the same sad, empty space. The only thing in there is dust.
