Page 99 of A Me and You Thing
Late thought. Even for an afterthought.
They both enter the living room, staring at me and my girls cuddled up on the couch. I swear they both look... guilty. Or maybe I’m just suspicious. I’m not sure.
Bree touches her forehead, “Oh my gosh. Thank goodness everything is okay. I can’t believe we left the girls alone.”
“They’re not alone. They’re with their mother,” Sawyer tells her. “They’re safe.”
“You know what I mean.”
Whatever. I don’t want to be a part of their drama.
Josie taps the page after I pause for much too long. We ignore Sawyer and Bree, and I keep on reading. Bree returns to her room after only a few minutes. Sawyer joins us on the couch as I read several more stories.
He interrupts after glancing at his watch. “Bath time, girls. Time to get ready to go.”
“Mommy too?” Josie asks.
“Yes. Mommy too,” Sawyer tells her.
My daughters are getting to know me again. Nothing makes me happier.
We take the girls upstairs and put them in the bath. They clearly love bath time as they don’t fight it. In fact, they’re excited to play in the water, especially when Sawyer adds bubbles.
“Is everything okay?” I ask Sawyer when he remains quiet.
“Yeah. Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”
He can’t look me in the eyes as he says it, making my stomach twist into a knot.
In spite of the sweet words he’s said to me and his extreme emotion at my homecoming, I know everything is not okay. He’s upset and bothered. It’s taken me a while to sort through the weirdness of returning from the dead and the strangeness of Sawyer having both a wife and a fiancée. I recognize I’ve been obsessed with myself and what I’m going through. I’m slowly beginning to interpret the emotions of others around me.
I think I’d rather enjoy ignorance.
Still, it’s now easy for me to see the weight on his shoulders. He’s really struggling. And I can’t help but wonder if he finds himself questioning the path he should take next. Maybe he’s been hasty in his decisions.
Hence, bath time is a quiet affair, only punctuated by the laughter of two happy girls. Sawyer is pensive, sitting next to the tub with his chin resting on steepled fingers.
I sit next to him as I wash the girls’ hair and rinse it out as we sing a silly song. Sawyer watches us interact with a thoughtful expression. Still, he says nothing.
We let the girls play for a bit, and Sawyer reaches out to me. I join him, welcoming his embrace. I lean against his chest, and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight, while we watch our daughters. I love the affection.
But his silence is killing me.
I take Josie, wrapped in a warm towel, to her bedroom while Sawyer finishes rinsing off Jordyn. I stare at the framed picture of me gracing the wall and look away quickly. I know it’s there to help my daughters remember me, but it fills me with anguish over the events of my life.
I dig through the closet until I find a cute outfit. I pause as I stumble across two of the frilliest dresses I’ve ever seen, both in a soft pink.
Sawyer walks in with Jordyn and catches me staring at the beautiful dresses. “Sorry, those were for the wedding. I’ll return them.”
I don’t say anything.
We dress the girls, letting their babbles fill the air. After both girls are dressed, their wet hair hangs in their faces.
“Where are my girls? All I can see is two scraggly lions.” Sawyer makes it worse as he runs the towel over their heads in an attempt to dry their hair.
“No lions! We’re just little girls!” Jordyn squeals.
We both laugh, but as Sawyer meets my gaze, our smiles slowly die. I see regret in his expression. Deep regret.
