Page 98 of A Me and You Thing
Knowing this was hard on my babies too, causes my chest to burn and my tears to fall a little harder. “I can never repay you.” There are no words for what she’s done, nothing I can say to thank her enough. “Thank you, Bree.”
“I missed you so much, Quinn. And Sawyer, he might as well have died too. He looked terrible for months. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. It was horrible.”
I nod, unable to speak.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come up to see you, but I couldn’t handle it. I know I’m being a jerk, I can’t help it. I think I’m allowed to feel a little huffy under the circumstances, don’t you? I love you, and I’m happy you’re alive. I really am. But it changes my entire life. I’m still trying to get my bearings, you know?” She pauses because she’s sobbing. I feel like the worst person on earth. “Me and Sawyer, we were happy, really happy. I mean, everything was perfect. Now that’s being taken away from us.”
By me. She doesn’t say it, but that’s what she means. I hurt inside, physically hurt.
Bree grabs a napkin from the table and wipes her eyes, visibly worked up. “It’s not easy for me to leave the girls, and you know why. I just want a little more time with them. Can I at least have that? I think I deserve it.” She stands up, and I can tell she’s embarrassed by her outburst. “And if you two could keep your romance down a notch or two, I would appreciate it, because this is not exactly a hunky-dory time for me. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I need to go to my room and cancel all of my wedding plans. It’s going to be super fun and I’m really looking forward to it.”
Bree turns and hurries away. “I’ll be ready to go at ten-thirty, Sawyer.” Her voice cracks as she storms up the stairs.
I cover my face with my hands. That was painful, even more so than I thought it would be. No matter what happens, someone’s heart will be broken. How can anyone find happiness while knowing it was at the expense of another’s?
Sawyer appears at the kitchen doorway. “Are you okay, Quinn?”
No. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Bree ran up the stairs crying. I’m gonna go talk to her, try to smooth things over, okay?”
“Okay.” I get to my feet and watch him rush up the stairs.
He’s in a hurry. To get to Bree. To be at her side. To comfort her.
I feel about two-feet high. I don’t want to feel guilty for wanting my life back, for wanting my husband and my children. But I do. And I feel like an ogre for wanting Bree out. She does deserve some time with the girls before she leaves. I won’t ever deny her time with them. She’s obviously been good to Josie and Jordyn, and I’ll always encourage a relationship between them. I can’t let jealousy get in the way. I have to do what’s best for my daughters.
No one said that would be easy, though. And it’s not. I’m just trying to get through this with my dignity intact.
I can hear the low murmur of voices as Sawyer and Bree talk upstairs. I can’t make out what they’re saying, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to hear it anyway.
The girls are alone in the living room, so I join them, grab a stack of children’s books off the bookshelf, and plop down on the couch.
“How about story time?” I offer.
They climb onto the couch next to me, their eyes wide, like they know something is amiss. I’m sure they feel the tension in the household. They jump at the chance for comfort—and I’m dying to give it to them. Their little heads lean on my chest as I wrap my arms around them. I read them story after story.
This. This is all I want. All I need.
In the background, we can hear Bree crying and the soft tones of Sawyer’s voice soothing her.
I read louder, trying to drown them out.
And when a tear or two escapes, I wipe it away just as fast as I can. No more crying. I’m done.
I try not to let the little voice in my head tell me that my life is a tragedy.
But it’s bouncing around my head, refusing to be ignored.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Quinn
SAWYER DOESN’T COME downstairs for nearly forty-five minutes. I guess the job of consoling is time consuming.
Huh.
All of a sudden, Bree comes rushing down the stairs behind him. “Where are the girls?”
