Page 2 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
What does come up for me as I face the end, is how much I want a hug. One final hug from every wonderful person I love.
I've built a beautiful support system, and even though it was all for Violet, I want to bask in theirwarmth one last time. That's all I can think about as my eyes refuse to open.
Someone just hug me.
One
FELIX
There's nothing as uncomfortable as the bone-deep confusion about your perception of events. Some part of me feels fucking crazy for thinking the worst right now, and the other parts are egging me on, telling me Imost definitely shouldbe panicking.
It's a strange sensation not knowing which warning to listen to. I'm struggling to rationalize—maybe that makes me sensitive?
As much as I would like to say I'm self-aware, I'm not. I know I'm intense and quick to anger, but that's about all I've got. And none of those things help me right now.
I need sensible. Something tangible to tell me the right way to respond to this situation. I know fuck all about crying teenagers, and to top that off, the woman I love isn't here like she's supposed to be.
When Violet dragged her feet through the theater doors with red-rimmed eyes, I went on alert. Then sheshuffled right up to us, avoiding eye contact, and Blue still hadn't appeared.
Those thoughts of what could be wrong began to narrow into terrifying territory. If Violet's fucking crying and alone, then what the hell is going on with Blue?!
Violet muttered something about her ma needing to do something for a few minutes. I'm pretty sure we all stiffened with worry. As if she knew exactly how to diffuse the situation, Violet asked Roman for a hug, requested snacks from Declan, and gave Jared a pleading look.
Ever since that one glance, Jared has been trying to calm me down. Iamcalm. On the outside. The more Jared tries to cool the anxiety rising in my chest, the harder it becomes to ignore the fact that Blue isn't here yet.
I'm stuck on the fact that I'm missing some really big information here, leaving me at a disadvantage. There's nothing about this situation that gives me control. I should be asking questions and running outside to find my woman, but Jared stands between me and the door. A reminder that I might be overreacting.
Clenching my jaw, I try to sound cool and collected. "She's just fucking sitting out there in the dark parking lot? Alone?"
My attempt at maintaining a nonaccusatory tone doesn't work. Violet flinches and tries to pull away from Roman. Rome doesn't let her, though, his instincts telling him to keep her close. If Violet weren't right there, I'd ask Roman what he's thinking, because he'sprobably closer to me on the feral scale than the other two.
"Um..." Violet starts, but a bumbling idiot steals her attention.My bumbling idiot.
"Fuck," Declan curses as the popcorn in the crook of his arm tips and spills a few kernels. "Can somebody help me?! Blue's going to be pissed if she sees I dropped food!"
I can't help it. A laugh tumbles out of me. The others do as well, making me wonder what memory they’re thinking of. Blue is a foodie, always has been. There were a few times Blue cried in high school over snacks hitting the ground. Declan may have gotten slapped on the arm a time or two for wasting his food too.
Some might say she was dramatic, but sometimes the loss of food was her tipping point. We fed her as much as we could, but Blue never had enough at home. So yes, food is incredibly important to her.
Before I can help Declan and plant a hot kiss on his mouth, Jared's there, taking two cups and a box of Dots.
"Where's Blue? I thought she'd be here by now," Declan notices, sounding confused.
Just like that, the easy atmosphere crackles with tension. Jared's no longer blocking the path to the doors, so I say fuck it and rush toward them. I fight myself back from running, though it's painful. We don't need to cause a scene, and I refuse to accidentally run into Blue as she's entering.
A few paces from the door, my gut starts churning, and my heart pounds rapidly in my chest. I don't knowanything for certain, yet whatever energy is pressing in around me has my panic rising.
It takes a tremendous amount of effort to keep from bellowing her name as the cool night air slams into me. With my stomach in my throat, I scan the area and come to a stop at the end of the sidewalk.
Something could happen in the time it takes me to run the length of the expansive parking lot. "Shit," I curse and dig my phone out of my jeans pocket.
Annoyed with myself for not attempting to call her ages ago, I dial her number and press the phone to my ear with enough pressure to make me wince.
Ring...Ring...
With each passing second, the urge to explode rises.Answer your fucking phone!
"She has my phone." I jolt, not having heard Violet come up behind me. "Call mine," she suggests, sounding worried.
