Page 24 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
What? Mama was bullied?
"Blue is a chameleon. I swear, the only time I've seen theversion of her without walls up was when she came running out of the backroom at work looking scared and pissed off. That was the most emotion I had ever seen from her. You four disarmed the poor woman, but with you, she showed her true selffor once."
It's a punch to the gut hearing that other people felt like Mama was wearing a mask.
"She wore a mask to fit in. Then she met you," Beth continues, on a roll and ignoring random comments coming from the guys. "I don't know how much you know, but from what she told me and the other ladies, Blue's only guaranteed meal was at school."
Bethany continues as if the guys aren't murmuring angrily. "She said she rarely slept and often had to clean up after her aunt’s benders. It wasn't good..."
There's some cursing, and Clara's hand on my shoulder tightens. Whether it's to comfort me or for herself, I have no clue, but I appreciate it.
"Um," Beth seems to hesitate. My heart is in my throat, knowing it only gets worse. It seems that is how it's always going to be with my mama. "Blue mentioned that Linda's dealer pushed her down the stairs and hadto skip a week of school because of her bruises. Sometimes she had to sleep outside because Linda would lock her out. And then?—"
"And then?! What the hell? How come she never told us any of this?" That sounds like Jared. Someone murmurs something, who I'm guessing is Roman, because he has a knack for calming everyone down.
"When..." Bethany trails off, and it takes everything in me not to run into the damn living room and demand the rest of the story. "When she moved, things got worse."
"Worse?" I whisper, sounding like my heart is shattered and ripped through my vocal cords. Obviously, I knew Blue had a tough childhood. I saw enough of it when I moved in with them, even though she tried to shield me from how much we struggled. But the abuse and neglect are far more severe than I realized.
"Before Violet moved in, there were a few older men who—"Silence.I can almost imagine Bethany swallowing and straightening her shoulder to finish what she came here to say. "They pushed her around. One...one snuck into her room and...and touched her breast."
Grunts and thuds follow Bethany's bomb, yet she continues. "Twice."
"Twice?!"
I can’t tell who shouts this time, but I really don't care.
"She w-woke up both times before he got any fur-further. Then she learned how to barricade her d-d-door."
Unable to hold back, I break free from Clara's grasp and rush for the living room.That's why we put things in front of our bedroom door?!I barely register Roman with his head in his hands, Jared pacing, and Declan holding Felix in a tight hug. My focus is on the sobbing blonde.
A cry breaks free as my chest is overcome with so much emotion ithurts. I fling myself onto Bethany's lap and cling to her like she might take it all back if I hug her hard enough.
Nothing exists beyond the sheer shock and horrified realization that I might not know my cousin who I call Mom.Not really.Blue, Mom, Mama, whatever I may call her, is far fucking stronger than I thought she was.
In the wake of this horrible realization, hope blooms. Mom is a fighter; shewillcome home.
Eighteen
BLUE
Waking up to find my numb legs covered with a blanket should not be as infuriating as it is. Horrified by the idea that Clarence was in here while I was unconscious makes me want to throw up. Alas, there's nothing to throw up. He could have done anything to me.
I'm not only stuck on the scary possibilities of what he did while I was asleep,butwhy now?Why would he choose to help me? What does he want with me? Clearly, he would like to keep me alive even if I am becoming a shell of my former self. But what for? What is his goal?
There's even a small voice in the back of my mind that wishes the blanket weren't here. We can call it an intrusive thought, but the part of me that is urging me to give up and fade away is nagging at me.
This blanket symbolizes survival, but I can't quite picture how that could be a good thing right now.Clarence was in here. Hemusthave plans for me beyond just tormenting me until I die of starvation, dehydration, and hypothermia.
My God. What if Idosurvive and escape this dirty shed? I can just imagine how messed up I'll be. Will I hoard food and have multiple water bottles? If one goes empty, will I slip into a panic attack? Jesus, what about winters? Will I be able to handle the cold, or will I always be reminded of this?
How would I explain my new long list of issues to Violet? She doesn't need to see me like that. What would that teach her? That I'm weak?
Plucking at the frayed edges of the dirt-stained blanket, I frown. My mind is feeling foggy and jumbled, so I sit up and stretch my neck out. The sun is poking through the boards, highlighting the dust in the air.
With my next inhale, I wonder if I'll have some kind of lung issues. Fuck knows if there's mold in here, too. I have no idea how that would impact me, actually. So many questions.Maybe I should get a higher education. Is there a degree for random information that nobody needs to know? Wait, isn't that just high school?
Squeezing my eyes shut, I silently scold myself for being a bitch. I was a straight A student, and I know plenty of things. I'm just a little pissy I didn't learn adult things. Like what to do if I'm locked in a shed with no food or water.
