Page 5 of Waste Some Time
For the first time in her life, she’d shown up somewhere without a plan. And not just for this week. She didn’t have a plan for anything.
Sydney wasn’t even sure when she was going back to San Diego. Of course, she hadn’t told Stephen that yet. Besides the other things she hadn’t told him.
While she valued his opinion, she didn’t want her brother’s enthusiasm for the idea of her sticking around longer—maybe even permanently—to influence her decision.
“I’m going to take full advantage of this shocking turn of events,” Stephen said. “Prepare to be bossed around while I make all your decisions for the rest of your time here.”
Sydney laughed. “That sounds terrifying.”
* * *
Sydney bitdown on one quarter of the muffuletta they were sharing. Her taste buds exploded with the tang of the olive salad and the rich mix of meats and cheeses. The round Italian bread loaf was both crispy and chewy and perfectly warm.
There were so many restaurants to love in the city, but this butcher shop that supplied the sandwich counter, as well as the high-end restaurant next door, was at the top of Sydney’s not-to-be-missed list.
“So, how have you been?” Stephen asked after he swallowed his first big bite of the shared sandwich. “Really. Be straight with me.”
Sydney choked on the bits of bread she hadn’t quite swallowed fully at his innocent use of “straight”.
Not that she didn’t want to tell him she was bisexual. She just didn’t want to tell himyet.
Sydney had known this about herself for quite a while, but she hadn’t really talked about it with anyone but her therapist, her best friend back in San Diego, and, eventually, her ex-husband. That hadn’t been a factor in their divorce, but since everything had gone to shit before she’d come out to more people, she didn’t want anyone thinking the two were linked.
She just needed some time and distance between announcing her divorce and announcing her sexuality.
Sydney liked when things followed an outline and stayed in their neat little compartments. Of course, life was usually messier than that. But if she could have any say in how this reveal would go down, this was how she wanted it to happen.
“I’m fine. Really.” Sydney wiped the sandwich crumbs from her hands.
“How? I mean, you guys were together for… how many years was it?”
“Six.”
“See. That’s a long fucking time in my book.” Stephen’s face morphed into concern. “Unless I had it all wrong when I asked if he’d been the one cheating. Were you?—”
“No,” she said. “I already told you. No one did anything wrong. We just weren’t right.”
She’d been clear with her family, from the moment she told them about the divorce, that Doug had done nothing wrong. He was just wrong for her. And her for him.
Over those six years, they’d always valued their time with their friends as much as their time with each other. Sydney loved the nightlife. Getting lost dancing in a crowd full of people, music, and lights weirdly relaxed and energized her after a long week at work. It was a stark difference from the days filled with quiet calculations.
Doug preferred poker nights and fantasy football with his friends. It felt like a perfect balance for a few years. Then, over time, their interests grew further and further apart and they spent less time together. The balance of time together versus apart grew more lopsided with every month.
“I guess I just don’t get how you aren’t upset.”
“I was upset. And now I’m not,” she said. “It’s done. I’m ready for whatever’s next.”
“Something’s next?” He raised his brow in interest. “Or someone?”
“Nothing specific,” she said quickly. Probably too quickly. “I mean in general. The rest of my life and all of that.”
“I still can’t convince you to move back here?”
“You could try, but it would be a waste of energy.” She held up the remaining quarter from her muffuletta. “If this can’t convince me, nothing can.”
“I don’t know,” Stephen said. “That sounds like a challenge to me.”
“You always were the competitive one of us all.”
