Page 66 of Carry Me Home
“Having an affair with your child’s caregiver would be another,” Claire said gently. “I think you know that.”
She made it sound so…gross. “He’s only here for the summer. Jack is leaving in September.” I said it to remind myself as much as my sister.
“That doesn’t change the fact that Maya needs him now. What happens if things go wrong with you two? Relationships are messy. You know that. The last thing Maya needs is mess.”
She wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t said to myself a hundred times already. God, I was an awful mom. So fucking selfish. Maya deserved better. What was I thinking, putting her happiness and well-being at risk? And for what, good sex with a man who would be out of our lives before the first frost?
Really, really,reallygood sex. Mind-blowing, soul-shattering, life-altering sex.
But it was still just sex. It wasn’t love. Even if it felt like maybe itcouldbe, someday, like that was where we were heading—we were never going to get there. We had an expiration date. If we kept going like this, I was going to be hurting as much as Maya when summer was over.
Claire took me by the shoulders. “Youarea good mom, Janie. But I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me nothing is going on with your manny.”
“Nothing is going on with Jack,” I lied in a voice two octaves above my usual tone.
Claire rolled her lips together like she was suppressing a laugh. “You always were a shit liar, my love. Also, your underwear is on the porch. You might want to pick them up before your daughter sees them.”
My face went up in flames. I hadn’t spared a single thought for the ruined panties Jack had stripped from my body before eating me on the porch swing. There had been the nagging feeling that I was forgetting something while I showered and changed into my pajamas, but I figured it was just my guiltyconscience. Not my underwear. Jack had truly fucked me stupid.
“It’s going to be okay.” Claire gave my shoulders a sympathetic squeeze. “If this thing with Jack is only temporary, then…you know…wrap it up.” She circled her wrist impatiently. “You have this whole weekend to get him out of your system. Get your bad out, Janie.”
I stilled, certain I had misheard her. “Get my bad out?”
“Yeah. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I don’t mean it like Mom does. You’ve been a single mom since you were barely old enough to drink. Of course you want to cut loose once in a while, and even I can see that if you’re into men, you’re definitely into Jack. He’s hot. So use this weekend to do that. Get your bad out, and then you can settle down again. I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all. I don’t want Maya to get hurt, either.”
25
JACK
Brax
Essie and James have a spot staked out for the fireworks. Parade first?
Zack
Hell yeah. The library is closed for the holiday, so Hannah says we can park there.
Adam
Meet there at 5 pm?
Zack
We’ll be there. You in, Jack? We can walk down to the bar and buy you a drink to thank you for your service.
Brax
The Painted Cat is closed.
Zack
Yeah, but I hear you have the key. ;)
Brax
What have I told you about using me for free drinks?
Zack
