Page 82 of Carry Me Home
She didn’t respond to that. That was fine. I’d tell her every day until she believed me.
“His wife came home in August. Caught us in bed together.” Janie looked away, swallowing hard. “I had no idea what was going on. I couldn’t understand that he had lied to me. He wouldn’t return my calls and suddenly I was out of a job. I was a mess. I would go for these long drives so I could cry where no one could see me. And then one night a bear ran in front of my car. I woke up in the hospital. That was how I found out I was pregnant.”
“Jesus,” I whispered.
“I don’t remember much from being in the hospital. But Rupert was there and my parents were there and everyone had a lawyer. I signed everything they told me to sign.”
She sighed. “There’s some verbiage about denial of parentage and keeping Maya out of the public.” Her mouth twisted in a grimace. “Heterochromia—Maya’s eyes are exactly like Rupert’s. If people saw her, they’d know. But it’s not like I have to lock her in a dungeon. She hates my parents’ parties, anyway. But as she gets older, she has more questions about who her dad is. I hate that I can’t tell her.”
“That can’t be legal,” I said. “There’s no fucking way anything you signed in that hospital would hold up in court.”
“It only has to hold up in court if I take them to court, and I won’t be doing that. It’s fine. My parents made sure Maya and I were taken care of. Rupert set up two trust funds, one for each of us. Maya gets full access to hers when she turns twenty-five.”
A trust fund. Suddenly things were starting to make sense. “This house?”
Janie nodded, her gaze sweeping around the kitchen. “My account is set up so that I got one large initial payment, and then smaller annual distributions until Maya’s twenty-fifth birthday. I used the first payment to buy this place free andclear. My parents weren’t thrilled, but I was desperate to be on my own.” She wrinkled her nose. “The smaller payments aren’t enough to live off of, but with my job at the Painted Cat, we get by. I can request additional distributions, but my mom is the trustee. Asking her for money—even money that’s technically mine—is just…it’s the fucking worst, you know? She never says yes without demanding something in return. I’m so tired of people controlling my life.”
Oh, hell. It wasn’t the same. What I had done, that was completely different. But somehow, I didn’t think she’d see it that way.
Janie pulled her mug of tea closer but she didn’t drink it. It had to be cold by now. She pushed it away again. “So that’s my secret. That’s everything.”
“Janie. Shit.” I scrubbed a hand over my face, feeling sick. “I have to tell you something, honey.”
33
JANIE
“What do you mean,you told Brax to make me a manager?” I pushed to my feet so fast my chair tipped over and landed with a loud clatter against the tile floor. I left it where it lay, my eyes never leaving Jack’s face.
His beautiful, lying, rat bastard face.
“Janie.”
I watched his lips shape my name, but all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears from the pounding of my heart. “You’re Brax’s investment partner. This whole time?”
“We went in on it together, but I wasn’t interested in being hands-on. I was never in town more than a few days at a time. I get a cut of the profits, but it’s his bar. He handles all the business, makes all the decisions. I stay out of all that.”
“But you made an exception for me.” My laugh sounded brittle to my ears. “Gee, thanks. I’m flattered.”
He rounded the table and I instinctively backed up. The thought of him touching me right now made me panic. I wasn’t strong enough for that. My feet tangled in the chair legs and I tumbled backward, arms flailing. He caught me—he alwaysfucking caught me—and I half bellowed, half sobbed in his face, “No! Don’t fucking touch me! Just let me fall!”
“I can’t do that, Janie.” His face was granite except for the muscle popping in his jaw. “Please don’t ask me to.”
He held me as tightly as if I were Maya having a meltdown. “I hate you,” I said into the crook of his neck. It was a lie, but I wished it were true.
His body jerked like I’d hit him but he didn’t let go. “I’m so in love with you I’m willing to look past that.”
My stupid, stupid heart gave a pitiful leap of hope. Jack fixed things. That was what he did. Was it too much to ask that he fixed us, too? I crumpled against him. Even when he was the one hurting me, he was still the one I turned to for comfort. “No. Don’t say that to me. I’m so fucking mad at you right now. It’s not fair.”
“I know, honey.” He smoothed my hair back from my damp forehead. “I understand.”
“Do you?” I pulled back to search his face. “Because I thought we were a team. We were in this together. We made a plantogether. Yes, I needed you, but I thought—” My throat constricted around the words, choking me. “Didn’t you need me, too?”
“Yes.” He cupped my face in his large, capable palms. “Fuck, yes, I needed you. I still need you. You weren’t wrong about any of that. Wearea team.”
My vision blurred with tears. “Then why did you go behind my back to Brax? Do you have any idea how that feels? Why didn’t you come to me first? I told you how things were with my parents and why I was bartending. You knew how I felt about people interfering in my life but you did it anyway.”
His shoulders slumped, his eyes lowering, but not before I saw the self-recrimination there. “I don’t have a good answer for that. I wish I did. I saw a problem, I wanted to fix it, and Iacted on that immediately. I wasn’t sure what Brax’s response would be, so I figured I’d talk it through with him first and see if moving you to management was a possibility. You were so tired. I thought it would be good for you. You have to believe me.”
