Page 9 of So Wrong, It's Wright
“I don’t think we’re lamenting,” Darren says, snuggling a little closer to Theo as he sips his drink.
“I was lamenting,” I add, leaning forward a little to talk across Darren. He rolls his eyes.
“She shouldn’t be. I was just about to tell herwhyI think Ash is one of the good ones.”
Theo’s brows lift as he nods. “OK. I’m here for this story.”
“Well,” Darren continues, loving his expanded audience. “I sat here next to him and suggested that maybe he’s Tahlia’s Mr. Wright Now—you know, funny pun on the surname and the timing—but he made it very clear that he doesn’t do one-night stands, and even if he did, he would never take advantage of our girl in her inebriated state. Which, considering how clearly Tahls here was ready to ride cowgirl on that man, tells me he’s not only a good guy, he’s agreatguy. It takes a big man to walk away from a sure thing.”
“He’s definitelybig,” Theo adds, giving Darren—who gasps—a knowing look.
“Oh my god, right? Did you see the size of his hands?” Darren says. “I know a few queens who’d cry knowing he’s straight.”
“Right?” Theo adds. “And let’s not even start on those feet. Ho-lyfuck.”
“I knooooow,” Darren breathes, eyes wide as he places a hand against his chest. “I was tempted to time my bathroom visits so I could sneak a peek.”
“Wait. Are you two talking about his dick?” I ask, which just makes both of them turn my way and nod slowly. I sit up a little straighter. “Well…how big are we talking?” I know enough to understand that like boobs, they come in all shapes and sizes. But I thought it was just luck of the draw. I didn’t realize hand and foot size played a direct role in this. The things you learn…
“I didn’t get eyes on it,” Darren starts. “But—”
“Oh, I did,” Theo says, the side of his mouth kicking up as Darren’s head jerks toward him.
“You didn’t!”
“I did. And it was a total accident too. We just happened to be in the bathroom at the same time and—”
“Tell us, tell us! Oh god. Tell usssss,” Darren says, practically bouncing on his seat with excitement.
“Like a baby elephant’s trunk,” Theo says knowingly. “He probably has to tuck that thing down the leg of his pants to get around.”
Darren clutches my arm. “Girrrrrl. You’ve hit the cock jackpot—the cockpot, or the jackcock. I don’t know which, butgirrrrrrl.”
“A baby elephant’s trunk?” I repeat, my eyes going wide as I try to imagine such a thing. “And that’s not hard, right? So, it’d only get bigger?”
They both nod.
“You should be grateful he showed restraint tonight, baby girl,” Darren says. “Tiny thing like you will need to do some prep work to take that man-meat inside you.”
“Holy fuck,” I breathe, not sure if I should be relieved or seriously put out. I just let the golden goose of cocks slip through my fingers... I lift my straw to my mouth and drain the glass.Holy giant cock, batman!
“Oh baby, I think we’re gonna need a couple more of these,” Darren says to Theo as I reach out and takehiscocktail, draining that too.
“On it,” Theo says with a chuckle. “Don’t blame your headache tomorrow on me though.”
* * *
“There isa house in this place right here! It’s caaaaaalled the Rising Sun!” I sing at the top of my lungs as Theo carries me over his shoulder with Darren following behind and cackling.
“And it's been the ruin of many a poor gay boy!” he adds in his deep baritone.
Before Theo puts in, “Great god, and I’m that one.”
We burst into a fit of giggles as Theo stops and sets me on my feet.
“Give me your room key,” he says.
I look at him with bleary eyes. “Thish isn’t my room,” I slur, my fumbling fingers unable to get the card out. Theo takes it from me. “Mine is five-oh-six. This is five…oh…nine.” I drunkenly point at the number on the door.
