Page 10 of Caged in Desire
Feeling more excitement than dread now for the evening, I finish the last bit of my makeup and give myself a final once-over in the mirror. My braid looks elegant and youthful without being girlish, and my face is enhanced but not overpowered by my makeup. If Sasha thinks Henry and I will be good together, well then…maybe I shouldn’t be so nervous for tonight after all.
“Come…on…ugh!” I let out a silent, frustrated scream as the window in the staff bathroom refuses to budge.
I’ve never been bothered by crowds. Attending parties held by my family, wearing a disguise, has ensured my ability to mingle and make small talk in groups of hundreds of people. But tonight, well…
The evening started out well enough, with my rehearsal dress fitting like a glove and complementing my hair and makeup perfectly. I chose this dress myself, and it’s different from the glittering, puffy concoction that I’ll be walking down the aisle in tomorrow. My satin, corseted dress hits mid calf and has a slit up one thigh. Spaghetti straps show off my sculpted shoulders and back, and my simple white platform heels give me a little more height while meeting a million people.Maybe Mrs. Nixon was right about the heels.
I didn’t start to feel like the world was closing in on me until Henry had introduced me to his family, then stepped away to say hello to another group. My father chose that moment to swoop in and make sure I knew how important tonight was.
Pulling me to the side with a rough grip on my upper arm, I can smell the alcohol on his breath.
“Katarina, youwillmake a good impression on this family. Do you understand? I don’t want to hear any of your quirky anecdotes tonight. Apply what you’ve learned in your lessons with Mrs. Nixon and act like the perfect wife you are going. To. Be. This is a huge sacrifice for Mr. Sinclair, and so help me, you are going to be worth it.”
Finally getting the window open, I assess the scene to make sure nobody is around to witness whatever madness I’ve succumbed to. Even though this is the darkest side of the house and well away from the ruckus of tonight’s event, I’m mindful of any random passersby. With all the stealth I can muster, I silently climb down the trellis, careful not to tear my dress. As both feet land safely on the ground, I release the breath I had been holding and head toward the back. I’m about to turn the corner when the deep timbre of a man’s voice startles me.
“I wouldn’t go that way. There’s an insufferable woman in red latex groping your father.”
Tobacco smoke wafts toward me, the unique blend an aroma I recognize immediately. I turn slowly, knowing exactly who I’m about to face.
I open my mouth to sayanything,but the sight of my fiancé propped against the wall, bow tie undone, with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a pipe to his lips, leaves me frozen in place.
“I don’t have a runaway bride on my hands, do I?” he asks, his voice as smooth as velvet.
When I remain speechless, he blows a ring of smoke in the opposite direction of where I’m standing before pushing off the wall to bridge the gap between us. It’s not until he’s draping his suit jacket around my shoulders that I realize the chill in the air.
“If you’re going to make a run for it, you’d better take this, or I’m afraid you won’t make it far at all.” His fingers brush the bare skin of my neck as he carefully pulls my hair out from where it was trapped beneath the new layer of clothing, sending sparks straight to my core.
Was Irunning away? I hopped out of that window with no plan at all.
Realizing my pulse is out of control, I steady my breath before finally willing myself to speak. “No…no, it’s not that. I just needed a breath of fresh air, that's all.”
“Likewise,” he says, raising his pipe for emphasis.
We turn to face the woodland area to the west of the estate, allowing another moment of silence to pass before he places one of the hands I’ve thought so much about lately on my upper back and guides me to a nearby fountain. He motions toward the rim and waits for me to take my seat before sitting beside me.
“Tell me what’s upset you tonight, Ms. Taranova.”
I’m about to make up another lie, anything to hide my distress, just like my lessons have taught me. But his pinky ever so gently brushes against mine, where they had been sitting almost flush together on the concrete rim, and I’m reminded that this man will be my husband.
I look down at our almost intertwined hands, avoiding his gaze as I make my confession. “You’re making this huge sacrifice, and there was…extra pressure put on me to make a good impression tonight. BecauseI don’t need to be a burden to you.”
“A sacrifice? You think that I'm making some sort of sacrifice by marrying an intelligent, articulate,beautifulyoung woman?”
Fighting a blush, I admit to an insecurity I’ve had since he first put off our wedding. “Well, I know you hate how young I am, and I…”
“I do nothatehow young you are,” he says, causing me to jump slightly. He must realize how harsh that came off. BeforeI know what’s happening, both of my hands are cocooned in his as he continues with a much softer tone. “I was hesitant at first because a nineteen-year-old has so much life to live. A life I’ve lived twice over. A life I couldn’t justify taking from you. It’s you I didn’t want to burden, not the other way around.”
He pauses momentarily, lacing one of his hands in mine. “Do you want this?”
Looking up to where the stars peep through the canopy of tree tops, I really think about that. Do I want this? I suppose there are worse things than being forced to marry a kind, intelligent, sexy man like Henry. But I haven’t had a day of freedom to figure out what I would want.
“I don’t really have a choice.” I chuckle. “I’m pretty sure my family would disown me if I didn’t.”
“You always have a choice.”
When the only response I give is a barely audible “hmm,” he squeezes the hand he’s holding. “Look at me.”
I turn my attention from the stars to the man beside me. Once again, I’m in awe of Henry Sinclair, and our proximity makes it hard to breathe.
