Page 6 of Caged in Desire
He takes one last bite of his breakfast before standing to leave. “I’m not sure. The properties are both quite large, so it’s possible they didn’t have much to do with each other. In any case, that’s all I have for the day. Unless you’ve got any other hot topics, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
We say our goodbyes, and I’m left alone to eat my breakfast in peace, reading through the rest of today's paper and then finishing the daily crossword in just under ten minutes.
Like every morning, I stand from my seat just as the clock strikes eight and make my way toward the library.
I’ve almost sat down in my chair before I remember that since turning nineteen earlier this week, the classes I’ve taken every day for as long as I can remember are no more.
They’ve been replaced with wedding planning, dress fittings,wife training,and more mundane tasks. A glance at my watch confirms that I have another two hours until my appointment to choose morelinens for my trousseau.If I didn’t know how much my family stands to gain from my marriage to Henry Sinclair, I would suspect that my father’s estate manager, Mrs. Nixon, was trying to bore me to death with all this incessant planning.
Usually at this time, I’d be knee-deep in small talk practice with one of my foreign language tutors, but with my new schedule, I have more free time. I barely have a moment of peace, though, before I’m regaled by the awful singing of my cousin Sasha, announcing his presence.
“My darlinggggg Katarina, she forsakes me for another…leaving me alooooone, her poor, sad brotherrrr…”
“You sound like an out-of-tune piano that was set on fire and thrown from a cliff.” I laugh, standing to receive his signature bear hug.
He’s my uncle Ivan’s son, though we’ve always acted more like siblings than cousins. Sasha was technically allowed to leave our estate, but he rarely did while we were children. He’s said it’s because he had everything he needed here, and he didn’t want to “associate with the plebs,” but I know it was at least partially out of guilt.
We grew up as thick as thieves, getting into trouble during lessons and sneaking around the house at night looking for mischief. I consider him my brother, the one person who will always have my back and want what’s best for me. My smile fades as I think about how soon I’ll be leaving him behind.
Sasha follows my gaze to a trio of framed photographs on the wall, of my father and his two siblings. My father is in the middlebetween Sasha’s dad and a rare picture of their sister, Natalya. The woman whose place I’ll be taking in this marriage contract.
“Did you ever meet our aunt? I don’t think we’ve ever talked about her.”
Sasha shakes his head, silent for a beat before finally breaking our silence. “I never met her. Grandfather banished her before you or I were born when he found out she was knocked up with some random man’s child.”
“Oh! I had no idea. Nobody ever talks about her. It’s kind of weird, actually.”
“I’m pretty sure everyone was banned from mentioning her name. I only know a little about her from my dad, but he was a bit closer to her than Pavel was, so it was harder for him to ignore her existence. In fact, I think they had a brief falling out over it.”
I walk over to the photo to get a closer look at the young girl. “That’s so sad. I can’t believe her own father did that.”
“Well, from the little Dad mentioned, she seemed to be somewhat of a problem child. Not that Grandfather was justified in his actions by any means.”
Would my own father do that to me? I’ve never rebelled against him in any capacity, so the consequences of doing such have never crossed my mind. Suddenly, my gilded cage feels much smaller, and my upcoming wedding feels a lot more like a new set of shackles than it did before.
“Ah, KitKat, don’t be sad. Before long, that giant of a husband will be dicking you down so hard you won’t even be able to see straight, let alone frown!” He laughs as I pinch his side, following him to our favorite alcove in the back of the library.
“Must you be so crass? And must you also remind me of my wifely duties? I promise you, Mrs. Nixon has that lesson plan well in hand.”
Flopping onto the plush sofa, I feel him sit beside me and reach for the tie around my wrist. As a child, Sasha was always the only person with gentle enough hands to braid my hair without causing me to scream like a banshee, and he’s still the best at it now. Today, it serves as one more reminder of the simple life I’ll soon be leaving behind forever.
After a few silent moments, as Sasha starts the braid, he changes his tone to ask me a more somber question.
“Is it really bad? The lessons with Mrs. Nixon and all of the wedding planning, I mean. I know the big wedding isn’t what you’d pick for yourself, and I really don’t know how you’re being so stoic about leaving everything after all this time…”
He ties off my braid and shifts so he can see my face. His eyes are taut with worry, and I feel a pang of guilt for causing him any stress.
Smiling, I ruffle his hair the way I know he hates.
“No, it’s not bad. I’m just being dramatic about the amount of time I’m spending with Mrs. Nixon. You know how she is. Stand up straighter, smile more naturally, don’t ever eat garlic at a dinner with men in attendance, blah, blah. My posture is perfect! She’s impossible to please.” I roll my eyes and huff as Sasha laughs.
“But really, Kat, what are your days like now? I used to know where to find you—morning lessons in the library, walk after lunch, afternoon classes in the solarium, jujitsu or fencing in the evening before dinner. It’s been the same for like ten years, at least. And now you’re all over the place in meetings and fittings. I’m just worried about you adjusting. That’s all,” he says with a soft smile.
Despite being an absolute pain sometimes, my cousin has always had my best interests at heart. I can’t help but tease him, though.
“All I’m worried about adjusting to is Henry’s big. Ole. Dick!” I exclaim, dissolving into a fit of giggles as Sasha gags. “You’re the one who brought it up in the first place, and youknowhow tall he is. It’s got to be at leastsomewhatproportional!”
“I yield, I yield!” He’s covering his eyes now as I cackle, satisfied that I’ve paid him back for teasing me in the first place.
