Page 24 of Caged in Desire
I can feel him tense. This is pushing the boundaries of our relationship, but if we’re ever going to become more than friendly roommates, someone has to do it. As much as he’s flirted with me lately, he’s never taken physical touch this far. Smiling, I interrupt his rambling with a soft, “Hi.”
Still tense, he sets the paper down beside him and smiles, “Hi…erm, what are you doing?
“I thought we could do this together,” I say, holding up the paper. The longer we sit here staring at each other, the more I lose my resolve. I want to be bold and stand, well, sit my ground on his lap. But the silence is uncomfortable, even for me. “I’m sorry, I’ll get up…”
“No, wait…” Henry finally relaxes, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me a little closer. “I would say get comfortable, but you finish so fast, I don’t think it necessarily matters.”
“I would imagine comfort directly correlates to how fast I finish, but then again, I’ve never tested that theory.” I wink at him and wiggle slightly on his lap as I settle in, feeling him grow hard beneath me.
“Christ, Katarina,” he murmurs, barely audible, as he adjusts himself as discreetly as possible in our position.
Feeling accomplished that I’ve successfully rattled my husband, I lift my wrist to start the timer on my watch. “Shall we get started?”
“Eight minutes and twenty-two seconds!” I squeak, “My fastest completion time yet!”
Henry sets the completed puzzle down beside us. “Well, you did have help. I’d like to takepartialcredit for your victory.”
“Ourfastest time yet.”
My excitement quickly dies as I realize I have no good reason to be sitting on this man’s lap any longer. As if he can read my mind, Henry pulls me closer to him. “When did you get so good at crosswords?” He tightens his grip, letting me know he wants me to stay.
“Lots of time alone in my ivory tower, I suppose.” I pause when he flinches, forgetting how uncomfortable it makes him that I was contained for eighteen years, largely because of the threat of his mother, real or not. “No, really, I’ve just always liked puzzles. Sasha used to read the comics to me when I was young. When I asked him what the crossword was, he told me it was a game. And I loved games. I obviously couldn’t complete them at first, so I asked almost everyone I came across for help. It became such a routine for the staff that they would seekmeout to help before starting their work for the day.”
Henry laughs, an action becoming less and less rare as of late. “There’s still so much I don’t know about you.”
“Me? You’re the one who’s a mystery! I feel like I hardly know anything about you,” I say, nudging him. “Except how poor a chess player you are.”
“What would you like to know?”
“Anything? Everything? Just start from your first memories and keep going.”
“I’m afraid I haven’t lived a very exciting life. My role was predestined from the moment my father found out he was having a son. As far as first memories, I don’t remember much about life before my brother. I was four when Ledger was born, and I quickly adapted to the role of big brother. We had a normal childhood until I was around nine. Within two years, Jack had moved in with us, Ledger had started school, Margot was born, and I was preparing to attend boarding school.
“I never objected to leaving for England, and I was able to come home often, but my family’s life carried on while I was away, so I felt like an outsider. Still, I enjoyed being around them when I was home. I know you’ve only met them briefly, but they’re a great time. Mom certainly never showed any bias toward my siblings, even with my long stints away, and I was, without a doubt, the pride of my father.”
As I sit, listening to Henry recount his life, realization hits me like a train. I’m not the only one of us who grew up in a cage. Henry’s walls might have been invisible, but he knew his bounds, and he never dared to cross them. At least I was able to discover who I wanted to be within my confines.
I caress his face, my hand small against his cheek. “What are some of the happiest moments you can remember?”
I expect him to have to think about that question after such a strictly regulated life, but he answers immediately. “Fishing with Father and Ledger, holding Margot for the first time, winning back-to-back championships in college.” He places his hand atop mine. “Dancing with my wife on our wedding day.”
My breath falters as my eyes shoot directly to his, where he’s staring at me with a gaze so sharp it could cut glass.This is your chance, Kat,I keep hearing over and over in my mind.He clearly wants you. Make a move. Do something.
Hopping off his lap, I walk to the record player in the corner of the room, then start flipping through the vinyls stacked beside it. I sort through a variety of rock bands and a handful of classical options before landing on one with the song we danced to at our wedding. When I go to take it out of its sleeve, I realize it still has the plastic on it. I make quick work of opening it, placing the disc on the platter, and setting the stylus on the track before walking back over to my husband.
“Dance with me?” I ask, holding my hand out in invitation.
Henry accepts my hand and stands, pulling me with such force that I crash into him. The moment my body meets his, I feel peace I’ve only ever felt in his arms. He’s by far the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, and his body exudes sensuality. There is no denying my sexual desire for him. But when he’s holding me against him, it’s not only the physical aspect of a relationship I crave. When I’m wrapped in his arms, I find myself comforted in ways I never imagined this arranged marriage would allow.
He takes my hand in his, his other arm wrapped snuggly around my waist, and leads the dance. Placing my free hand on his chest, I continue to ask about his life. “Alright, so…back-to-back championships? What did you play?”
“Football.”
“Do you mean soc—”
“American football.” He clarifies before I can ask the question. “I played quarterback pretty much all my life. When I had breaks from school, I would play on travel teams here in the States, and Father had the best coaches training me while I was in England. I could’ve easily gone pro, but I had more important things to do. The day of the draft, Father gifted me with ownership of the team most adamant about recruiting me. ‘Why play for a team when you can own it?’”
“Oh, that's…did youwantto continue playing?”
