Page 65 of Caged in Desire
The girls pack their secret gifts away again, and Margot and Sloane, both fairly pregnant at this point, sit heavily back down on the couch. Jack and Ledger swarm them, putting footstools in front of each and handing them a drink refill. Ledger places a plate of sweets between the girls, and Jack glares at him before putting down his own plate of sliced fruit. I understand for the first time the urge to cater to a woman’s every need, and I can’t imagine the way that feeling must amplify when she’s carrying your child.
My wife is still with my mother, deep in conversation by the tree, so I decide to leave her to her own devices for a bit. Catching her eye, I give her a saucy wink, and her blush is captivating. I love that she still blushes for me, even after the debauchery we’ve taken part in. Standing, I wander toward the kitchen, pouring myself another drink and grabbing another Christmas cookie before sitting at the breakfast table. My brothers join me, satisfied that their women are taken care of.
“I’m gonna guess that by the wink I just saw, you finally managed to overcome your crippling fear of sexually disappointing your wife and…ow!”
The back of Ledger’s hand makes satisfying contact with Jack’s head, but he still grins at me, and honestly, I can’t do anything but laugh.
“What Jack istryingto say is that we’re sorry for not checking in more often, and we’d like an update on you and Kat,” Ledger says, glaring at Jack.
Jack, recovered from his head wound, continues.
“Is she pregnant?” he asks, and Ledger’s head hits the table with a thud before lifting it to give me an apologetic look.
“What?” Jack asks indignantly. “We had a whole plan, Ledger. You can’t act like we weren’t gonna bring it up at some point.”
I sip my drink as Jack gives me a very passionate yet clearly rehearsed speech. Ledger drains his glass and pours himself another before shrugging his shoulders in a “what can you do?” way.
“So, Henry, our fearless family leader. What we’re trying to say is that we would really like to have the cousins all close in age. We love Kat, Mom loves Kat, and Sloane and Margot are basically obsessed with her. It’s obvious she’s sticking around, which is great, but if she’s not already pregnant, we need to get you guys on a PIP.”
Frowning, I ask, “You want to put my wife and me on a performance improvement plan?”
This is apparently the funniest thing Jack’s ever heard, and I wonder exactly how many eggnogs he’s had this evening.
“No, silly. A prompt impregnation plan. Margot has already threatened my balls if she doesn’t get a break after the twins are born because she wants to be in top shape for the monstrosity of a wedding she’s planning,” Jack says, before Ledger interrupts.
“Sloane has also made me promise her a break after this one, although I think she forgets how cute they are when they’re tiny and fresh. Granted, I am looking forward to her having periods again…”
“The point is,” Jack continues, “if you want in on this first round of grandkids, the time is now, bro. Otherwise, you might have to wait a few years to jump in. Now, if she’s on birth control, I know it might seem impossible.However,Ledger and I were once in your position in dire straits, and there are…creative paths you can take. If it’s a pill, you can actually get exact dupes online and switch ’em out. Easy peasy.”
I make eye contact with Ledger, expecting another commiserative glance regarding Jack’s birth control lecture, but he’s nodding along.
“If it’s not a pill, that’s more complicated, but we know a very discreet doctor…anyway, if she’snoton birth control and she’s not pregnant, Ledger has a turkey baster so you can really get in there and…”
“Jack,” I say, stopping him short of what I think was about to be a suggestion to turkey baste my semen into my unknowing wife. “Thank you very much for his informative discussion. I don’t think I’ll need the turkey baster just yet, but it’s good to know it’s an option. Although I think I’ll buy a new one rather than borrow Ledger’s.”
Draining my own glass to try to keep pace as Ledger pours refills, I decide there’s no reason to deny my truth to my brothers. If I have my way, we’ll all have plenty more reason to spend time together as one big family. And I’ll definitely need their advice if I’m lucky enough to be a dad.
“There’s no birth control, and to my knowledge, Katarina isn’t pregnant.Yet,”I add, and Jack and Ledger both smirk. “It’s not something that we’re preventing or something that we’re actively working toward at this time. We’ve been married barely over two months. Give me a chance.”
Margot calls for Jack, who’s up and back into the living room like a rocket. Ledger sits quietly for a moment with an ear to the door to see if Sloane calls out too, but she doesn’t. He stays with me as we sip our drinks until his eye catches on a framed family photo that Mom has in her kitchen. It’s the six of us at Christmastime when Margot was a baby, and we’re all smiling around the tree. Well, as much as our dad ever really smiled. Ledger has his own demons he’s had to deal with, due to our dad’s pressure on him throughout the years, and he breathes out a heavy breath before turning his attention away from the photo to eye me.
“You know,” he says quietly, “I was absolutely terrified of fucking up LJ the way Dad fucked me up. As excited as I was toget Sloane pregnant, asobsessedas I was to create something that belonged to just us, born out of our love…I was terrified, Henry.”
Ledger looks up with tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face.
“But it’sthe best,brother. It’s so good that I don’t know how that bastard never realized it. I’ll never understand, but that’s not my problem anymore. I can’t imagine treating LJ the way he treated me, or you for that matter, and I barely even think about him anymore unless I see his picture.” He’s wiping his eyes as Sloane finally calls for him.
As we both stand, he pulls me into a tight hug.
“If you ever wondered at all if you’d be like him, don’t. You won’t. You’ll be amazing, and so will Kat. You know you can always call me if you want to talk, big bro. Trust me, when that first teething scream hits, you’ll want every trick I have in the book,” he says with a watery laugh. Clapping him on the shoulder, I make Katarina a plate of food before I head back into the living room to take care of my woman, only to find a round of what looks to be Christmas Pictionary in progress.
Jack has managed what I think is supposed to be a stocking, but it’s skewing phallic in shape, and everyone is laughing and making increasingly bad guesses while he gets more and more frustrated. The harder he tries, the more it just looks like an avant-garde, or perhaps diseased, dick.
Seeing the back of my wife’s head on an oversized loveseat in the corner, I head straight for her, only to find her cuddled up and holding a sleeping LJ. Bending down to press a kiss to her temple, I add a soft one to LJ’s forehead for good measure.And maybe good luck.
“Hi,” she whispers. “Oh yay, a snack! Fruit and pigs in blankets? My hero.”
She winks at me and adds a mouthed, “Thank you, Daddy,” and I fight the urge to hand the baby back to my brother and abscond with her upstairs like a caveman.
