Page 21 of Her Christmas Fix
But when I turn and see her looking at me with those eyes that see too much, I can’t do it. “You deserve to have your dream—your grandmother’s dream. But, yeah, there’s something else.”
She nods, but doesn’t rush me, which I appreciate more than I can say her. I take a deep breath, then force myself to speak.
“I had a buddy in the service. Joey Jones. We met in basic training then deployed together. He was...” I pause and clear my throat. “He was my brother in every way that mattered. We both struggled when we got out. But Joey had a wife, Susanna, and two little kids. He had so much to live for.”
Monika moves closer, and this time I don’t pull away.
“Things were worse than I realized. He started drinking and gambling. Blew through their savings trying to numb whatever was eating him alive. I tried to help, but I was dealing with my own shit, you know? So I made excuses for why I couldn’t do more.” My hands clench into fists. “Three years ago, he put a gun in his mouth.”
“Griffin.” Her cool fingers wrap around my clenched fist until it relaxes.
“I’d been saving money to buy Susanna and the kids a house. It took a lot to convince her to let me help, but they needed something stable after everything went to hell.” I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Then everything really went to hell. Daniel stopped paying, and I drained my savings trying to keep my crew afloat. Trying to save face and my stupid pride instead of admitting I was getting screwed over.”
Understanding dawns in her eyes. “So the money I’m paying you?—”
“Goes to Susanna’s house fund. Every penny.” I meet her gaze, needing her to understand. “This job is my chance to finally keep the promise I made to Joey the day of his funeral. I get that you have something to prove. But I also need to prove I’m not a complete failure as a friend.”
The silence stretches between us, weighted with the truth I just laid bare. Then Monika wraps her arms around me, holding me tight like she has the ability to keep all my broken pieces from falling apart. The truth is, she just might.
“You’re not a failure,” she whispers against my chest. “You’re the best man I know.”
I bury my face in her hair and breathe her in, letting myself believe her words, even if it’s only for this moment. “I wanted to get this right for both of us.”
“You have.” She pulls back enough to look up at me. “The house is so close, and you’ve helped me remember who I am underneath all the Hollywood crap. You’ve gotten a lot of things right.” Her cheeks turn rosy. “Last night, in particular.”
I drop a kiss on the top of her head. “But the flooring?—”
“Is just flooring.” She cups my face in her hands. “My grandmother would have loved that this project is helping another family have their dream home. That means more than any wide plank composite could.”
The knot in my chest loosens slightly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She goes up on tiptoe to press her mouth to mine. “We’ll figure out a solution together.”
Together, like we’re a team. Like this is more than just a business arrangement that happens to include mind-blowing sex.
“I’ll make some calls. We might not find exactly what you wanted, but?—”
“It’ll be perfect,” she interrupts.
I study her face, searching for a sign that she’s simply trying to make me feel better. But what reflects back to me is dangerously close to the feeling that’s been growing in my chest since the night she showed up at that house. I’m not ready to name it, even though my heart is totally sure.
“Not as perfect as you,” I say.
She kisses me again. “Thank you for telling me about Joey. About all of it.”
I nod, not trusting my voice. How do I tell her that somewhere between raccoon wrangling and wreath-making—and even though she squeezes the toothpaste from the center of the tube—she’s become the most important person in my world? I didn’t expect to fall for her, but I’m tumbling head over heels, and I don’t even care about how much the landing’s going to hurt.
When she leaves in a week, she’s going to take a piece of me with her that I’m never getting back. But I don’t say anything. Instead, I pick up my phone and start making calls. If I can’t give her forever, I can at least give her a perfect Christmas.
11
MONIKA
I openthe door of my house on the bluff two days later and walk in, anticipation coursing through me. The kitchen counter was installed this morning, and I can’t wait to see it.
Griffin insisted I stay at his cabin while the crew was working. It was a subcontractor he’d never used before, and he couldn’t guarantee my privacy.
I tried to tell him I’d be okay no matter what, but he just smiled and assured me he could manage the work on his own and the big reveal would be a surprise.
