Page 185 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
I swallowed hard at her words, blinking back the sting of tears as I looked to both Ellis and Liv—the ghost who haddragged me across the country and the girl who had helped me face grief along the way. All of it a ripple. Margaret’s ripple. My ripple.
It had all led here.
I cleared my throat and shot Jedd a teary smile, glancing at Ida.
“Let’s do this then,” I said, steadying my voice and looking to Jedd. “Let’s send her off.”
The deck shuddered under my shoes as Jedd hit play on his phone, the music spilling through his speakers. The song I had spent countless days dancing to with Margaret filled my ears.
Into the Mystic.
Jedd’s hands were steady, as if he had been born to handle this kind of ritual. Ellis and I stepped back a little. She double-checked with Ida on the phone, making sure she could see. Then the smell of gunpowder hit my senses, mixing with the saltwater air as the first spark lit, hot and electric, and it bit at the back of my throat.
Then—crack!
The first rocket tore skyward, screaming into the night, and my heart seemed to follow it. A breathless sound left my lips as Ellis squealed with delight. Liv howled like a wild animal as my eyes tracked the red streak until it burst open like a vein across the horizon.
A fierce blossom of light exploded in the sky, turning into glittering ash as it rained down, invisible against the waves. I gasped in wonder at the sight, the colors fading just as Jedd lined up a second.
The song blasted behind us as the next rocket tore away, a defiant anthem of joy mingling with Van Morrison’s voice. Ellis clutched my arm, laughing through her tears at the way it shot upward—higher, faster—before exploding into a wild wash of blue that made Liv shriek and clap her hands with abandon.
The bangs echoed in my chest, the percussions surfacing something that had long been buried. For every screech of fire there was a roar of laughter; Ellis tipping her head back, auburn hair catching the flare of gold above us; Liv leaning half over the rail, mouth wide with awe; Ida’s voice faint through the speakers, cheering for Margaret.
I looked back to the sky and pressed my hand to my chest—for once not just feeling the loss, but feeling her everywhere. I felt her in the heat that kissed my cheeks with every explosion, in the wild rhythm of my heartbeat as Ellis laughed beside me.
Jedd launched them with expert precision, and when only the last set remained, he looked up at me with a grin.
“Last one,” he said. “Want to light the finale?”
I swallowed and nodded, crouching beside him as he guided my hands, showing me what to do. I held my breath, watching as the finale began—each rocket shooting out, one after another, in overlapping bangs and cascading sparks, painting the horizon in colors of the rainbow. I rose to my feet, screaming with them.
Not from pain.
Not from anger.
But from release.
My voice joined the thunderous chorus in an act of liberation—raw and ragged—as if my cries could carry Margaret higher and higher.
For this moment in time, there was nothing but fire, color, music, and laughter. When the last boom faded into smoke and the ocean swallowed it gently, silence returned—soft and holy, less weighted than before.
I laughed and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, my breath trembling as Ellis turned to me with a grin. My soul whispered into the quiet.
Goodbye, Margaret. You were always right.
It was always about the adventure.
ELLIS
Tip #31: The heart remembers what the brain edits. Trust the cool shiver on your palms.
The morning air was cool and crisp as we gathered in front of the Mustang. It had been packed with our bags, now filled with clean clothes. The only usual piece of carry-on missing was Margaret’s ashes, and it suddenly felt strange to see the cream tote absent from its usual spot on the back seat.
Dove stood talking to Jedd with an ease about her, a smile on her face that let me know she was okay. Her space buns were tucked up neatly—she had let me do her hair that morning—and she wore a pair of black shorts and her favorite purple tie-dyed T-shirt. I smiled at her scuffed, beaten Converse before glancing at Liv as I shut the trunk.
She stood beside Jedd, watching him as he talked, nodding along as if he could see her.
My heart squeezed.
