Page 157 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
“I am so tired,” she said. “I think it’s all just hitting me now. Everything. Liv finally telling us the truth… her story. I can’t believe she’s been sitting on that all this time. No wonder she lost it last night.”
“I know,” I said, feeling a weight settle on my shoulders. “Honestly, I feel guilty.”
Ellis cocked her head. “Why?”
“What if the reading pushed her too far?” I said, the words tumbling out after rolling around in my head all afternoon. “What if I nudged something I shouldn’t have?”
Ellis shook her head with a small frown and took my hands in hers. The warmth grounded me, and I met her eyes.
“All you did was tell her what the cards meant, Dove,” she said, her voice soft, her eyes holding mine in that entrancing way. “How she interpreted them to match what she was already going through… that’s all her. You didn’t know any of that other stuff.”
She sounded like Margaret.
Then she surprised me.
She leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to my lips, pulling back before I could even register the action. A shy smile followed.
“I’m going to shower,” she said, turning to face her bag. “When we get to L.A., we need to do washing. I have, like, two pairs of underwear left, and I’ve worn everything now at least once.”
“We will definitely do that,” I assured her, watching as she grabbed what she needed.
She gave me a quick smile before darting off to the bathroom and closing the door behind her. I took a breath and flopped down onto the bed, wincing at the firmness. I rubbed my eyes, my head heavy as I replayed the day—from the moment I’d woken up with Ellis pinned beneath me while I kissed her senseless, to Liv’s revelation just hours ago.
This trip hadn’t been short on moments that made my head spin, but today had been a doozy.
I eyed my bag at the foot of the bed, knowing Margaret’s remaining ashes sat tucked away inside. I bit the inside of my cheek as my eyes watered and I stared up at the ceiling.
The end was so close now.
She’d truly be gone.
“I hope you enjoyed it,” I murmured, as if she were sitting with me. “I hope it was a fun last ride.”
Ellis shiftedbeside me in the bed, the blankets pulled up to her chin as she faced me. The sheets felt clean, which was a relief, but who knew? Either way, the options were limited, floor or bed. And the bed was likely the safer bet.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, her soft voice cutting into the silence of the room. “About scattering Margaret’s ashes? Or should I say, uh, launching them.”
I kept my eyes on the ceiling.
“I don’t know,” I told her truthfully. “I feel… weird. I mean, it’s been fun—from the moment I stole them to leaving her in every state we’ve passed through. She would’ve loved it. But… this is kind of different now. It’s all of her, you know? No little pieces left over. Just gone.”
Ellis shifted again, and I felt her hand rest on my stomach, warm even through my shirt.
“You could keep a little.”
I shook my head firmly and swallowed. “No. I can’t. She wouldn’t want that.”
Silence found us once more as Ellis mulled over my words and my eyes traced the crack of light sneaking in through the gap in the curtains, my mind full of nothing and everything all at once.
“She’ll always be with you in some way,” Ellis said gently. “In the shop. Your apartment. The cards. Her essence will always be there. Maybe letting go physically will suck, but you’ve done everything she wanted. Fulfilled her final wishes with flair. She’s always going to be with you.”
A smile tugged at my lips, and my heart squeezed at her soft, shy attempt to make me feel better—saying all the right things in that quiet, unsure way that she did.
I rolled to my side to face her, and she brought her hand back to herself, tucking it under her chin where she held the blankets.
I could make her out faintly in the darkness.
“God, I like you, Ellis.”
