Page 78 of Riding Pine
Lukas laughs softly. “You’re not the only one. Can we take this inside?”
“Of course.”
Lukas carries his bag and holds my hand as we walk through the falling snow to our building. “You know the only thing I like about winter is hockey.” He shakes his head with a smile. “I don’t care for snow or cold, but fuck do I ever love the ice.”
The elevator door closes, and we remain silent again. Big words are forming in my chest, and I don’t trust myself to speak until we’re behind our apartment door. If I can even speak at all.
Once inside, Lukas drops his suitcase at the entrance to the bedroom and excuses himself to change. It’s a different sort of homecoming. Normally, we’re jumping each other and naked the moment we lock the door behind us, but this is different and for once…I’m nervous.
While Lukas changes, I start the oven for the dinner that I had James help me prepare. It’s nothing fancy, but more than I can usually handle on my own. It was surprisingly easy to make lasagna. Who knew?
Lukas enters the kitchen just as I’m sliding it into the oven.
“What’s this?”
My brain stutters as he enters the kitchen, shirtless in a pair of loose-fitting pants. Flannel pants. Because being a hockey player wasn’t enough, he has to be all lumberjack-y too.
“I, uh, made dinner for us. Well, I had help, but yeah, I, um…can you put a shirt on? You’re distracting me.”
Lukas’s slow grin, the one I dream about, spreads as he licks his lips. “Am I? What am I distracting you from, baby?”
When I don’t reply, Lukas steps back. His brows knit together, and I reach for him.
“It’s not bad. It’s just, I thought…I…” Puffing a breath, I finally just give in and step into him. His arms go around me, holding me tight, and it’s the best place I can ever spend my time.
“I said in the car I didn’t want to keep any more secrets, so here goes.” Peering up into his handsome face, I just blurt it out. “I’min love with you. I love you and us. I love that you trust me with your plants and I…fuck…I’ve never told anyone else I love them.”
Lukas silences my rambles with a soft kiss. “I’m relieved to hear that because I love you too, Ben. You make me want more from life than just what hockey brings. Until I met you, I never allowed myself to have it all. Hockey was always first, but now…it’s you who fills my thoughts.”
“This is weird for me because I’ve always been independent, and I’ve never even lived with someone before. Well, except for James, but he’s my best friend. I’m constantly thinking of you. Waiting for you, eating with you, kissing you…”
I trail off because I think he gets the point.
“Are you scared of losing yourself?”
“No.” I shake my head and push up on my toes to meet his lips. “I’m scared of all this disappearing because I fucked it up. I went to the owners without telling you, and I was terrified I’d fucked up your career.”
Lukas feathers a kiss on my nose.
“But I chose it, Ben. You told me, and I made the choice you were worth it. You’ll always be worth it. If today’s meeting told me I had to pack my bags and my career was over, I’d have left if it meant I’d still come home to you.”
“You don’t mean that,” I whisper. “You love hockey. I’d never ask you to give it up.”
“No, you wouldn’t. I know that. Hockey won’t be here giving me homemade ice packs and baking me lasagna when I’m sixty. It certainly won’t keep me warm at night either.” Lukas sways us together in the kitchen. “Sometimes hard choices are some of the easiest to make, Ben. You make me happier than I’ve ever been.”
“What if…what if one day I don’t make you happy?”
I know we don’t have crystal balls to see into the future, but Lukas is so…I don’t know, maybe fairy-tale-like. As someone who has never looked beyond the end of a week, the prospect of a future with this man isn’t something that’s come easily.
“I don’t want to think that one day you won’t make me smile. I’d rather think of all the days you’ll make me smile instead. They never end, Ben.” He kisses me again, this time with more passion, and my head swims. “I love you, and I’m so glad I tried to do a handstand in a bar and fell into you.”
His lips trail down my neck while his hands slip under my shirt. If I were an ice cube, I’d now be a puddle because Lukas just…he just ticks every box and pushes every single button, and I fucking melt every damn time.
The man turns me on by doing barely anything. He wrestles my shirt over my head and lets it drop to the kitchen floor.
“Did you set a timer?” he murmurs as his hands find the zipper of my jeans.
“Huh? Oh! Y-yeah. I set a…” My mouth drops open as Lukas drops to his knees, taking my pants down with him. He raises an eyebrow and looks up when he notices my undies.
