Page 59 of Ropers Can't Tie Knots
“Why do you want a divorce, then?”
Puffing out a breath, I lead him back to the couch and pull the blanket over his nakedness. This is hard enough to say without him flashing me. “It’s hard to concentrate when you’re showing me the goods.” Gabe forces a smile, and I need to make this right.
“I went to the lawyer a few weeks ago and did something I’m not proud of.” Gabe stills, and I guess I just need to blurt it out. “I blackmailed the lawyer, I think?”
“What!? Jesus Hunter…”
“No, it’s okay! Mostly. I already have three of the four payments, and it’s a substantial amount of money. I wanted to know if I walked away, how much the Broken Rainbow would actually get. Would the sum be something significant for them, or did I need to wait it out?”
“Any sum is significant,” Gabe spits, and I understand his anger, but I needed to know, and I needed to bend this in our favour.
“I agree, but I had a hunch and did some digging.” Based on a profile I saw on a hook-up app, and a bit of catfishing is what I should say, but I’ll keep that to myself for now. Is it dishonourable? Of course it is, but my grandfather never played by the rules, and as the frequent target of his outbursts, I felt it was okay to cash in on this just once.
It’s also why I didn’t want to tell Gabe anything when he asked. As a lawyer himself, I didn’t want to put him in an awkward position. “The lawyer is in the closet, Gabe. I might have threatened him a little to bend the rules for me.”
Gabe runs a hand over his face and mutters something about legal ethics that I pretend not to understand.
“Hunter…that’s gross. I mean, the guy is a prick, but I don’t condone outing someone like that.”
It didn’t sit well with my conscience, either. As soon as I hefted the threat at him, I regretted it. But once it was said, I couldn’t take it back.
“I know. It wasn’t my finest moment, and nobody knows. Just him and me and now you. That’s how it will remain. But…I don’t want to be married to you because I was forced to. I want to be married to you because I love you.”
Gabe shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”
“When we said our vows that day in a courthouse, it was because I hated my grandfather and needed money. I didn’t want to do it. There was no love in that room, Gabe.” Swallowing hard, I push on and hope I might get this last bit right since I’ve caused him enough heartache tonight. “I don’t want to celebrate that day on a calendar. It doesn’t stand for what you are to me. I want to celebrate a day we chose because we want to spend the rest of our lives together. Because the love I have for you is so big, counsellor, that I’ve struggled to accept it was possible for me to feel this way.”
Gabe’s gaze softens, and I reach for his hand, dusting a kiss across his knuckles. “That’s why I want a divorce. So we can do this over and take happy pictures celebrating with our friends. Do all the things that people do when they celebrate being married. I want our day to be filled with love. This shouldn’t be a tainted day, and it needs to be ours alone. You deserve that.”
Gabe bites his lip. “You want a divorce so we can re-marry for love?”
His voice is so soft, I have to lean closer to hear him.
“Um, yeah. I guess that’s it in a lot fewer words.”
“Your words mean everything.” Gabe’s hand on my cheek is warm, and I’d walk away from every dollar of my family’s money if it meant I’d get to spend more nights with him like this. “What about the money and the lawyer if we divorce now? Does it still go to that organization?”
“Oh! Right…I asked him if the wording was open to interpretation, and he agreed it was. He’ll still pay the remaining amount to me after a year based on the initial marriage date. I know I came at him wrong with the threat to out his little secret, but Gabe, I think he was relieved he had someone to talk to. We had a very…honest discussion.” The man knew my grandfather would turn on him if he discovered his sexuality, which I completely agreed with. He felt sick drafting all the conditions Jeremiah told him to, and while I wish he would’ve used his position to do good, I know it’s not always as simple as that. “I think the guilt of this will and keeping a secret from his family is getting to him. So the Broken Rainbow won’t see a dime, but a different charity will.”
“You won’t keep it?”
Money has played a huge part in how my life turned out this way. I lost a man I cared deeply for because I put money before him. It took far too many years to move past that decision, and I didn’t want to repeat the past.
“I thought about it, but you’ve taught me some things these past months, and I don’t need it. But there are people who do. Like the people Margie feeds every week, and the homeless shelter. The 4-H club could use some help for the kids who can’t travel to shows. There’s no shortage of people in need in this community, Gabe. I’ve always known that, but I’ve done nothing about it.”
Gabe tilts his head as he absorbs all this.
“What did I teach you to draw this conclusion?”
I huff a laugh. “To be cliché, money doesn’t buy happiness. You came here in your expensive car and fancy suits, and I immediately pegged you as a snobby rich guy. But then I got to know you andlearned you weren’t a trust-fund kid and perhaps lacked the love I always craved as a kid, too. You and me…I think we’re a lot alike.”
Gabe remains quiet for a moment and it’s enough time for me to wonder if I fucked it all up and he’s thinking of ways to tell me to fuck off. Maybe all this sneaking around, gathering information, and making decisions without him might not have been the brilliant idea I thought it was.
“You have such an enormous heart, Hunter. It takes a while for others to see it because you keep yourself locked up so tight. But this town knows you’re good, and your friends know you’re amazing.” Gabe moves the blanket and comes closer, swinging a leg over and sitting on my lap. “I know you and I are meant to be. I don’t love that you played dirty with this lawyer, but I understand.” He kisses me softly. “It will break my heart to sign divorce papers, doll. It really will.”
“I just don’t want our day connected to him, babe. I want it to be ours.”
Gabe kisses me again, and I clutch him closer. It always scares me how much I want him, not just like this, but here with me. Sleeping or awake, naked or clothed, I crave him within reach, and to know he feels the same about me is possibly better than winning the national finals.
