Page 80 of Ropers Can't Tie Knots
His smile shifts to something more tender as he leans in to kiss me. “Let’s do it.” His words whisper across my lips, and we share a moment. It was a rocky road for us, mostly my fault, but we made it.
“I love you, Gabe.”
“I know, doll. I love you, too.”
We pick up the music again—the two-step is what he’s most comfortable with—and when I see the opening on the floor, I raise my arm for his spin. It’s not flawless, but it works. When I pull him back to me, he immediately relaxes. He even kicks his leg up, but curls it around my waist as he smirks.
“Have you been secretly practicing?” I say as I pull him up, and he keeps his leg wrapped around my waist.
“I might have had a few dance lessons from a certain mutual friend.” Gabe is quite pleased that he shocked me for a moment and pecks a kiss on my lips. “You’re the only one who gets to touch my butt, though.”
“Good to know. But who taught you?”
Gabe lowers his leg and glances towards the other dancers, specifically Diamond and Levi. It’s very clear Diamond is trying to teach him some dance steps, and it’s not going very well.
“Huh…probably should have guessed he likes to dance with those legs.”
Gabe wraps his arms around my neck and pulls my attention back. “Do you mind if I dance with him for a while?”
The way Gabe asks me isn’t for permission but more of a check-in since I haven’t let him go all night except to go to the bathroom.
“Of course not. No butt touching, though,” I joke, and he kisses me longer.
“Not a problem…husband.”
With Gabe off to rescue Diamond from Levi’s two left feet, I head to the bar where a familiar pair of denim-blue eyes meet mine. My gut flips not with butterflies, but with something next to regret.
“Sorry I’m late. The plane had a few issues and the traffic from the city is shit.” Alec, the man I loved all those years ago, and who I was too afraid to stand up for, raises his beer to me. “Congratulations, Hunter. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” I say with a shaky breath. “I wasn’t exactly kind to you the last time we talked.”
“No, you weren’t, but I know how it is, Hunter. We have history, and that won’t ever change. You were still fighting and figuring things out.”
“Took me forty fucking years,” I say with a small laugh and Alec just smiles.
“Better late than never.” He takes a drink, and I’m at a loss for words. Yes, I invited him because I wanted him to come, but now that he’s here, I’m unsure of myself. Sorry doesn’t feel like enough.
“Did Zane make it with you?”
Alec’s smile grows fond, and I know the look well. “Of course. I think he’s outside trying to talk to a groundhog.” We both laugh,and Alec tips his head towards the exit at the back of the barn. “Come on. Let’s go outside for a bit.”
When the barn door closes behind us, the quiet of the night is louder than the music inside, and I’m painfully aware of how much time he spent on this very ranch hiding himself because of me. All the times I was rude in public to cover my feelings for him aren’t something I’m proud of. Those memories still linger here among the new ones I’ve made with Gabe.
“I can tell you’re afraid of saying something wrong, so I’ll start,” Alec says as we walk to the pasture fence. He leans against it, his gaze looking out into the pasture that one time held cattle he helped tend to. “I don’t regret choosing you, and I’ll never regret my time here. We made a great team in the ring, but not so much as a couple. But our relationship helped me find what I wanted. Kind of like you and Gabe. Without you, I’d probably not be as happy as I am today.”
Easing up to the fence next to Alec, I stare into the field as well. He’s right, as always. I needed him to say something first.
“I’m sorry for being a miserable asshole and putting money before you. I always thought you were my biggest regret, but maybe that’s not it at all.”
“It’s not.” Alec’s quiet and steady voice brings me back to all those years ago when he pleaded with me to choose something for myself just once. He didn’t even press for it to be him. He just wanted something better for me. Alec believed in me long before I believed in myself. “We both grew up here, Hunter. You as a child, but both of us grew here in ways we couldn’t possibly know back then. I regret nothing.”
“You were my only actual relationship, you know. I never let anyone close after you.” Puffing a breath, it just hits me finally. It almost steals my breath out here under the same moon that it began. “I was so afraid of someone else leaving me, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let someone close, but Gabe…it’s like he knew that all along and just put up with my bullshit because he believed I’d figure it out.”
Alec turns his head, shifting his gaze back to me. It’s unsettling having this conversation now. It’s been over ten years since we were close. When I made a half-assed attempt to win him back a few years ago, he had the same look now as he did then. I don’t even have to look to know it’s a gaze of shared sadness with an overlay of love. It’s always love with him. Even at my lowest, he loved me.
“You’re always a part of me, Hunter. That’s something neither of us can let go, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep away from me. I love Zane and you love Gabe. We found the right people for us. You’ll always be my friend, and I’ll always love you like one. Thank you for inviting us here to share this with you. It meant a lot getting that card in the mail.”
“It seemed right…having you here.”
