Page 82 of Call It What You Want
She takes a step toward me, and for a split second, hope flares in my chest. “Then put security outside my apartment. Install cameras. Do whatever you need to do.” Her eyes search mine. “But let me choose. Don’t force me to stay, Jackson.”
Let me choose.
Those three words feel like bullets straight to my chest.
If I let her go, maybe she’ll come back on her own. Or…maybe she won’t. Is that a gamble I’m willing to take?
“And if you don’t come back to me?” The question comes out raw, stripped of every defense I usually hide behind.
“Then, I guess you’ll know I was never really yours to begin with.”
That truth slices through the last thread holding me together. Love isn’t a cage. You can own someone’s body. You can break their will. But you can’t force a heart to love, no matter how badly it’s wanted.
I look at her,reallylook. The girl I knew is still there somewhere, hiding beneath the damage I helped create. I’m the reason she learned to protect herself. I made her need the armor.
“Okay,” I hear myself say, the word foreign in my mouth. “Okay.”
Her eyes widen, like she’s shocked I’m giving in so quickly. Same. I’m just as shocked.
“I’ll have someone take you home.” I pull my phone out and shoot off a text to the guys. “But I’m stationing security outside your apartment. And I’m ramping up the surveillance.”
I already have cameras inside her apartment. When she moved in a couple of years ago, I had hidden cameras installed in her living room. Nothing in the bedroom, or the private spaces—which is my idea of being gentlemanly—but a few to keep an eye on her.
“Jackson, I wasn’t really serious about the cameras…”
“It’s non-negotiable.” I meet her gaze. “Someone tried to take you from me once. I won’t give them a second chance.”
She nods slowly. “Okay.”
Silence stretches between us, heavy with everything still left unsaid. I want to pull her close, bury my nose in her hair, andkiss her until she forgets why she ever wanted to leave. But I don’t. Because that would be taking her choice away again.
“When you figure out who you are without me—” My throat tightens. “If you decide you want this, wantus...”
“And if I don’t?”
That question fucking terrifies me, but I force myself to answer honestly. “I don’t know. I can’t promise I’ll ever be capable of letting you go…”
She reaches up, her fingers grazing my jaw, soft, tentative, like she’s memorizing the shape of me. I catch her hand, press a kiss to her palm, then turn to the fireplace. Lifting the hidden panel, I take out the new phone and hold it out to her.
“This is to replace the one I broke. Your apps, your contacts…everything is already set up.”
She accepts it with a nod.
Then she’s gone, and I’m left standing in the wreckage of my own making. I wanted to protect her. Instead, I just proved why she needs saving fromme…
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Ava
My apartment is empty, hollow. The California sunshine blazes outside, but the blackout curtains are pulled closed, so once I shut the front door, the livingroom is drenched in darkness.
Perfect. It matches my mood.
I drop my keys into the bowl by the door, then wander into the kitchen aimlessly, opening the refrigerator. Most of the food is probably expired. I grab a strawberry yogurt, check the date, then grab a spoon and take it to the couch.
Halfway through my yogurt, I turn my new phone on. The screen immediately lights up as several messages flood in, mostly from co-workers wondering where I’ve been. I don’t reply. Instead, I text my dad and tell him I’ll swing by first thing in the morning.
Then, I pull Silverman’s business card out of my bra, and before I can chicken out, I dial the number. It goes straight to voicemail. I take a deep breath and say, “I’m ready to talk,” then I leave my info and hang up abruptly.
