Page 175 of Moonlit Nights & Northern Lights
Kit’s chest rose and fell heavily. When he spoke again, his voice came out strained. “I think one of the reasons I hate you talking about that time is because it reminds me of how guilty I feel about it all. You know… because I let Dad manipulate me into being bloody despicable to you.” He took a deep, unsteady breath, as if the words were costing him. “I remember how he used to get me to completely ignore you when you were ‘acting up.’ To pretend you weren’t in the room, that I couldn’t hear your voice. You used to get so upset. Scream at me until you were red in the face. But I still did it.”
My throat tightened. I remembered those days all too well: Kit staring right through me as if I didn’t exist, me howling, stamping my feet with rage. Only resisting the urge to punch him because I didn’t feel confident he wouldn’t strangle me if I did.
“You kept trying to break through to me for so long,” Kit continued. “You clearly held some hope that the brother you loved was still in there. But then you just… gave up. And when I left, I knew what I was leaving you with. Knew what would happen. But I still did it. I just… left you there, with them.”
Kit’s chest began shaking, and I reached across the table, covering his hand with mine.
“But then you came for me,” I said. “The second you found out I was living in Glasgow. You came. You rescued me, and brought me back here. You moved me into your flat, got me a job… gave me a new family. A home, here. A real home, like I never knew existed. I’ll never stop being grateful to you, every day of my life.”
Kitshook his head slightly, as if it didn’t excuse anything. “Course I did. You’re my brother. My pack. I love you more than anything.”
“I love you too. That’s why I want to talk about it all, sometimes. You might be able to lock it all away in boxes in your head, but it isn’t like that for me. It buzzes around in my mind all the time.”
“Okay,” said Kit. “Of course you can talk to me, Rory. Anytime.”
“And while I’m making demands…” I took a breath, remembering Teddy’s gentle nudging from the other day. “When we’re at Killigrew Street, in meetings, I want you to stop talking down to me in front of everyone. It makes me feel like you’re telling me off. Like a child. Seb is my boss, not you.”
Kit blinked, his grip tightening on his pint. A deep frown split his forehead. “I… didn’t quite realise I was doing that. I’m sorry.”
“I feel like you feel responsible for my actions, because you got me the job there. And that’s something I always think about too. But you jump in to criticise me at every tiny thing, and it really gets me down.”
Kit’s face crumpled slightly. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Okay. I hear you. I’ll really try to work on that.”
“Thank you.”
Kit cleared his throat, straightening in his seat. He checked his watch with sharp, jerky movements. “They’re all bloody late. And… do you know if Felix is coming?”
“Maybe?” I said, shrugging. “Priya will know. If she ever bothers to arrive.”
I looked towards the entrance. Teddy should have been here by now. He’d been off work today—he needed to take his mother to an appointment—and we’d parted ways this morning with him promising to meet us at half-past six. It was nearly seven.
A familiar panic started crawling up my spine. What if he didn’t come? What if—
No. Stop it.Teddy had been coming to these pub sessions for weeks now, ever since we’d got back from Scotland. The team had welcomed him with open arms. He and Priya even had inside jokes now. Aboutrubber ducks, for some reason. Felix had warmed to him quickly as well, though that might have been because Teddy actually listened when Felix explained his latest tech projects instead of glazing over like the rest of us.
I loved watching Teddy fit into our chaotic little family. The way he’d started smuggling proper crisps in under his jacket, instead of the shit ones the pub served. How he’d learned everyone’s drinks and didn’t mind queuing for rounds, unlike the rest of us. The way his eyes still lit up every time they called him Theo, not Maxwell.
I grinned at Kit, swirling the dregs of my pint. “So, how much money do I have to pay you for you to tell me who you’re in love with?”
Kit coughed, spluttering his drink everywhere. Beer sprayed across the sticky table, droplets hitting my sleeve.
“Excuse me?!”
“Oh, come on, you didn’t expect me not to ask, did you?” I leaned back, crossing my arms.
Kit’s face went bright red, matching the tips of his ears. “It’s been three months,” he muttered, frantically dabbing at the spilled beer with a napkin. “I thought I’d gotten away with it. Oh look, here they come!”
I turned, expecting him to be taking the piss as a diversion tactic, but there they were—Seb, Flynn, and Priya.
Seb came through the door with his umbrella half up, earning curious looks in the bright afternoon sunlight.
As they reached our table, Priya grinned broadly as she slid into the seat beside me and knocked our knees together.
“Horrible weather, isn’t it?” Seb said, settling his umbrella against the table leg.
Priya laughed, then eyed my drained glass before glancing towards the very busy bar. “Where’s your boyfriend? I need him to buy me a drink.”
I glared at her. “He’s not your bar bitch. He’s mine.”
