Page 103 of The Pushy Pixies Are Going Down
“I’m sure.” He leaned in and licked my cheek, making me splutter and push him away with a laugh. “Mm. Tasty.”
“You’re disgusting.”Ugh, now he licked my sweat!I laughed and tried to grimace at the same time.
He laughed again, picked up the egg box, and shut the back of the truck. “Come on, let’s get these guys to their new home.”
I nodded, took a breath, and went to the driver’s seat.
Win kept the egg box on his lap as I drove to The Ringshire Faerie Sanctuary, and we both did our best to ignore the high-pitched bell sounds—pixies screaming—coming from the back.
“You alright over there, babe?” I asked, not really paying attention to my words.
“I’m good,babe.”
I wrinkled my nose when I realized I’d called him that first. Never in my whole life had I ever called anyonebabe. For fuck’s sake.
He snickered. “Your face. Oh my god, I was only teasing you, sugar butt. I call you five million endearments. I don’t care at all what you call me.”
I shrugged. It was still weird because I hadn’t even realized I’d done it. Whatever. I was still feeling off because of the shower thing, and I just… I wasn’t sure how to make myself feel better about it.
Winter’s hand found its way to my thigh, and his null magic made everything in my head quiet. It was glorious, not having to block out every single person’s emotions as we passed by them, not having to push the pixies’ high emotions to the back of my head.
“What’s wrong, Miles? What’s going on in your head? You look worried.”
I sighed and decided to be honest with him since he was always honest with me. “I’m… still thinking about the shower thing.”
“Honeybuns, you don’t have to worry about that. It’s seriously no big deal if you don’t want to shower with me. Honestly, there’s no reason to be upset about it.”
“It’s not… it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…” I sighed and ran a gloved hand through my hair. “When I was in the academy—the police academy, I had this… I don’t want to call him my boyfriend because he wasn’t really. He was just… this guy I fooled around with, I guess.”
I trailed off as I slowed at a stoplight and took a few seconds to gather my thoughts. “We lived at the academy, right? It waskind of like a college dorm, I guess. We all had a roommate in our rooms, but the bathrooms were communal. Each floor had to share. I always woke up super early and showered while everyone else was still asleep because I… well, you know. My empath magic, I… I couldn’t protect myself as well without clothes on since there was no barrier if someone bumped into me or something. Plus, I was just more comfortable not showering around other people.
“Anyway, he, the guy I was sleeping with… he convinced me to shower with him one night. I don’t even know why I agreed, but he just seemed so… excited about shower sex, I dunno. It was weird, and I felt so… vulnerable in there, but I wanted to keep this guy happy. I…” I trailed off again with a wince.
I’d been so lonely back then. My parents had kicked me out, I’d been unhoused before moving to the academy, I had no friends, no family. I just… I’d needed something—someone—to hold onto, so I would’ve done pretty much anything he wanted.
“After we finished, a group of guys came in, and Hector left me there in the bathroom alone with them. He didn’t feel like waiting for me to finish getting dressed, so he left me, and… well, I was the freak, you know? Everyone there knew I was an empath. I had to do special training, and some of the guys were mean about it—maybe they were jealous or something, I dunno.
“But they saw me half naked and just… they didn’t beat me up or anything—they didn’t have to. They just… touched me. Put their hands on my body, on my skin, and all their anger, their amusement at my reaction, their hatred toward me, the jealousy, the fear, all of it just… invaded my thoughts.
“Back then, I was even less in control of my ability, so I just… I went down and curled up in a ball, and… they kept laughing at me and touching my arm or whatever, just to set me off again.”
I cleared my throat. “Eventually, they left, but I didn’t move, not until Hector came back in and actually had some sympathyfor me. He called for the medical staff, and I don’t really remember what happened after that.”
I cleared my throat. “The commander decided to move me to a private room with its own bathroom after that, and I refused to talk to Hector again, even though he sought me out for sex a few times. I just… anyway, I think I’m just… scarred from that, I guess? And I know you would never, ever, ever do anything like that to me. Obviously, I know that. And I trust you so much, I swear. I just… but I just…”
“Hey, shhh. It’s alright, sweetheart. Can you pull over, please?”
I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to pull over, but I did it without question just because he asked.
As soon as I put the truck in park, Winter set the egg box on the dash, unbuckled his seatbelt, then mine, then pulled me into a tight hug. I went with ease, letting his calm and strong presence soothe me until I melted into him.
After a few minutes, he said, “I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through that. So fucking sorry. Those guys were assholes, and so was Hector. He shouldn’t have left you, especially if he knew you were uncomfortable in there. I wish with all my heart you never would’ve been put through that.”
I sniffled—was I crying? How hadn’t I noticed that? “I… thank you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t thank me for that. Jesus. Miles, you are the most beautiful person in the entire world. Inside and out.” He leaned back and cupped my cheeks, staring intensely into my eyes. “I’m sorry I put you in that headspace when I asked. I won’t bring it up again, okay? But if you want to talk about it, it or anything else, I’m always here for you. Alright?”
I nodded and sent him a shaky smile. “Thank you.”
