Page 41 of Did It Have To Be Gnomes?!
Three gnomes were on the top of a bookcase, sticks in their hands and held like weapons, and as soon as I faced them, they jumped at me.
I leapt out of the way, and Miles let out a yell of his own.
Whipping around to face him, I took in the scene.
Miles had a gnome on his shoulder, and he was freaking the fuck out.
“Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!”
He started jumping around, his feet going a million miles an hour as he wiggled and shook and tried to brush the little bastard off of him. But the thing had a good grip and wasn’t letting go. Miles looked like a person who was afraid of bugs or spiders.
As soon as the thought struck, my eyes widened.
Holy shit.
Was Miles afraid of gnomes?
How the hell could he, of all people, be scared of them?
I watched him freaking out for another beat.
Miles really was afraid of gnomes.
Oh my god.
And now they were attacking him.
I leapt into action, grabbing his arms to stop his freak-out dance. Then I brushed the gnome off of him with the back of my hand, and the little beastie went flying across the room, landing on a laundry pile.
Poor Miles had his eyes closed and let out a strangled scream that turned into a whimper, so I cupped his cheeks with my hands and calmly said, “It’s gone. You’re okay. You’re safe.”
He opened his eyes and whispered, “I hate gnomes. They’re creepy and gross and horrible and they always have their bits out, which who the hell wants to see that? I don’t know how anyone can think they’re cute. They’re so, so, so freaking gross. I’ve seen so many gnome bits.” He shuddered. “They’re the worst, and I hate them, and I never, ever, ever want another one to touch me.Ever.”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I was able to hold in the laugh that wanted to escape. “It’s okay, Sidekick. I’ll protect you.”
His head snapped up, eyes narrowing. “Did you just call me Sidekick?”
“Sure did.”
“What the hell? How am I your sidekick?”
I chuckled. “I’ve had to save you twice now, so I think that makes me the hero, which means you can be my sidekick.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay, White Knight.” By the way he saidWhite Knight, he clearly meantyou asshat.
That made me laugh, and I booped him on the nose. “I like the sound of that.”
“Of course you do.”
Movement behind Miles caught my attention. A gnome.
No, multiple gnomes.
A lot of gnomes.
I grabbed Miles and tugged him behind me just as four of the bastards launched themselves at us.
Chapter Thirteen
