Page 37 of Did It Have To Be Gnomes?!
For a few seconds, I didn’t even recognize the person, but as soon as she opened her mouth, I realized that the haggard lady with wild hair and angry eyes was none other than the mansion owner, Martha Cohen.
Her hair was sticking up all over the place, almost looking like she’d been electrocuted, her clothes had tears all over them, and I was pretty sure she had a little spot of dried blood on her cheek.
“You left me! You left, and now look at what happened!” she yelled. “How dare you leave without finishing your goddamn job!”
“What the actual fuck?” Lyric said, their head between the two front seats.
Martha kept on yelling, and Winter mumbled, “I think not,” before he jumped out of the car and approached the woman.
“He was injured, and you have no right to yell at us,” Winter yelled over Martha’s own screaming. “If you’re going to yell, we’re not going to help you, so I suggest you shut up and calm the hell down.”
My eyebrows rose. He definitely shouldn’t be telling clients to shut up, but I couldn’t blame him. Plus, it seemed to work because she snapped her mouth shut and glared at him.
Lyric and I got out of the car, walking over to stand on either side of Winter.
More calmly, he said, “We had to leave yesterday because Miles was injured on the job and needed medical attention.”
She closed her eyes for a brief moment, then gestured to the house. “I get it, and I’m sorry he was hurt, but it’s a war zone in there. You two angered them, and they’ve been attacking me and the staff since last night. No one but Alfred would even come in today.” Her chin quivered. “I was stuck in there all alone last night, and I…”
The butler from yesterday, presumably Alfred, stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and a pissed-off expression on his face.
“What happened?” I asked Martha. “Gnomes aren’t known to be dangerous.”
She closed her eyes again and let out a deep breath for a few seconds before opening them and staring at me. “They’ve been jumping on everyone, ripping our clothes, and biting us.”
My eyebrows rose. “Biting you?” Winter and I shared a glance because that was unheard of. I turned back to Martha. “If they’re that bad, I suggest you go stay somewhere else until we get them all out. Do you have somewhere to go?”
She made an angry face before sighing. “I’ll find a hotel.” Over her shoulder, she called out, “Alfred, you’re on paid leave until the gnomes are gone. Go home and get some rest.”
Alfred stalked out of the house, muttering, “Asshole exterminators don’t know how to do their jobs.”
My eyebrows rose since he’d seemed perfectly fine with us just yesterday, and it certainly wasn’t our fault the little creepy bastards had lost their minds overnight. We’d left enough traps inside that it should’ve made a big dent in the number of gnomes they were seeing, so this was absolutely not our fault. Geez.
Alfred shoulder-checked me as he passed by, and it was hard enough I stumbled back a few steps.
Lyric surprised me by yelling, “Hey, touch him again and you’re a dead man.”
My eyebrows rose, and I leaned around Winter to quietly say, “It’s fine, Lyric. Please calm down.” Who the hell knew Lyric was a hot head? And why was everyone so damn angry?
Did everyone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
Both Martha and Alfred weren’t acting like they had on our previous encounters. I obviously didn’t know them well, but their reactions—and even Lyric’s just now—seemed… odd.
Shaking that off, I said to Martha, “You can leave now, right? And you’re okay with us going inside without you here?”
“Yes and yes.” She reached into her pocket, pulling out a set of keys. “These are the spares. I left the others in my car. You can keep those while you’re working here. Just lock everything up at night. At this rate, I’m not even worried about setting the alarm because the gnomes will scare anyone off, but I guess I need to tell you anyway.” She sighed, then rattled off the alarm directions and code. “You need to lock all the doors and set the alarm before you leave.”
“Will do.” I stepped forward. “Do you need medical attention? I, uh, think you have blood on your cheek.”
She automatically wiped at her cheek and winced. “Shit. No. I’ll be fine. Just… call me when you’re done.”
“It’s going to take a week or two to clear them all out.” Infestations like this were not a simple matter, not when I was catching the little creepers instead of just dropping poison everywhere.
She nodded and waved me off, already heading back inside. “Whatever it takes, just get the bastards out of here. I’m going to pack a bag.”
“Will do, Ms. Cohen.” I turned to Winter and Lyric. “That was… odd. She was the nicest person ever the other day.”
Winter shrugged. “Stress makes people do nutty things.”
