Page 114 of Light My Fire Three Times
Olivia sighs and closes her eyes for a moment. “I didn’t want to worry anyone.”
“Is this because of that asshole boss of yours?” Ivy growls as she takes a seat beside Olivia. “It’s all got too much for you, I just know it.”
This sucks.
Not only do I not know much about this, but I also can't even comfort Olivia the way I want to because Ivy is right here.
I can’t hold her hand, can’t brush her hair out of her face, can’t even make her laugh the way I usually do to lighten the mood. I’m stuck, standing on the edge of something I’m too scared to dive into.
Every time I look at Olivia, there’s a part of me that knows this isn’t just some temporary thing. I care about her more than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time. But the situation feels impossible.
How can I tell Ivy that I’ve fallen for her best friend? And that it isn’t just me, but Karl and Leo as well. Especially after the wayI reacted when I first found out about her with my best friend and the twins.
I’m drawn to Olivia in ways that scare the hell out of me. I’m crossing lines that I never thought I’d be willing to cross, and I’m doing it right under Ivy’s nose. The more I try to stay away from her, the less I can.
As Olivia and Ivy talk, I’m left stewing in my own thoughts.
Where does this even go? What is this?
Where can things go if we’re not willing to be honest? IfIam so desperate to keep things locked down that it all just crumbles and falls apart…
I try to focus on Olivia, but the thoughts keep spiraling out of control. I steal a glance at Ivy, who’s sitting beside Olivia’s bed, holding her hand as she tries to reassure her.
Her concern is genuine, but it’s also loud. Every moment she spends here makes me slip farther into this mess.
Karl’s talking too, and I can hear his words, but it all feels distant. I’m not sure if I’m hearing it all or if my head is spinning.
“Visiting hours are almost over,” the doctor says, creaking open the door as she looks at Ivy and me with a polite but firm expression. “I’m sorry, but we need to wrap it up. But we’ll be discharging Olivia soon.”
Ivy looks up, visibly frustrated, but nods. She doesn’t want to leave, but she doesn’t argue either. I can see how much this is weighing on her.
“Alright,” Ivy says softly, squeezing Olivia’s hand once more. “We’ll go. But give me a text when you get back, so I know you’re okay.”
Karl nods. “I got her. I’ll take her back, okay?”
“Thanks, Karl,” Ivy gasps. “Call us if you need anything.”
Olivia’s smile is small but sincere, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Ivy looks at me, her eyes filled with something between worry and guilt. “Let’s go, come on.”
Ivy walks beside me as we make our way to the parking lot. I can almost feel the strain radiating off her in waves.
The moment she slides into the passenger’s seat, the words start coming out of her mouth.
“Oh, Jesse, I feel like shit,” she groans. “I know life is busy now, and that I’m wrapped up in the kids, but seeing Olivia in that way and knowing I missed the signs. I mean, I’ve been trying to help, getting Sloane to help and everything, but it still sucks. I want to do more.”
I know how she feels. Only… my life isn’t too busy for Olivia. I’ve just been too scared of the consequences to admit how I feel. And yeah, I’ve helped with the apartment, but seeing Olivia sick… it’s not enough.
By the time I pull up outside of Ivy’s home, I could throw up. Truly.
But the sight of Freddie, Mitchell, and Timothy all waiting for her to come home, to comfort her, tugs at something else.
Shit.
I want that. Ireallywant that.
I want to be the one who makes Olivia feel safe. To stand there with Karl and Leo, waiting for her, offering her the support she’s never had from anyone except us.
