Page 5 of Light My Fire Three Times
She knows precisely how out of place she feels, but isn’t going to let it show. It’s endearing. “It’s part of the charm. Small towns don’t do fancy. But they know how to make a damn good steak.”
“Good, because I’m starving,” she says, almost too eagerly. “I’m not even sure what I’m in the mood for, but whatever it is, I need it now.”
I chuckle. “You’re not picky, huh?”
“Not when I’m this hungry,” she says with a smirk, her eyes glinting. “And not when it comes to food. I’ve had someinterestingmeals in my time, being on the road for work most of the time. You’d be surprised what I’ll eat if it means I don’t have to cook.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, I’ll bet.”
We place our food order, and the drinks arrive, a couple of local beers. She takes a sip and sighs, as if the simple act of drinking something so familiar is a relief. I lean in a little, curious about her.
“You’ve been quiet tonight. I thought you’d be more… chatty,” I tease, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re usually a little lessserious.”
Livvy shrugs, but there’s a slight edge to it. “I’m just trying to relax, you know? It’s been a challenging time at work recently, and I need to take a step back. At least for the couple of weeks that I’m here.”
I lean forward, my interest piqued. The last time I saw her, Livvy was cracking jokes, always on top of the conversation, but tonight there's something different in her eyes.
That sharp edge I’m used to is still there, but it’s tempered with a depth. She seems tired.
“Sounds like you're carrying a lot on your shoulders.”
Her fingers tap the side of her glass, her gaze wandering off for a second before she meets my eyes again. There's a quiet heaviness in her expression now, something that wasn’t there before.
“Yeah,” she says with a quiet sigh, her lips pulling into a tight smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You know how it is. Rising through the ranks, getting all that recognition, but then it starts feeling like a rat race, and all you’re chasing is a paycheck.” She shakes her head, taking another long sip of her beer. “I don’t know if I even love it anymore.”
I nod slowly, trying to read her. The words are clearly coming from somewhere deeper than she intended. She’s trying to keep it light, but I can see through the cracks.
“It sounds like you're talking about more than just the work,” I say gently, offering her an opening.
I don’t want to pry, but I can’t help feeling that if she lets me in, she might say what’s really on her mind.
She lets out a bitter laugh, almost to herself.
“I guess I am. I’ve spent years working under Richard Stokes. He’s a nightmare. Like a walking, breathing power trip wrapped in a suit.” She leans back, her eyes narrowing as if the mere mention of his name has soured her mood even more. “The guy’s a total jerk. Always demands more, never gives anything in return. I mean, he’s justrelentless. No matter how much you give, it’s never enough.”
I can feel the tension radiating from her, the frustration she’s carrying like a weight she’s had to lug around for too long.
I want to reach out, tell her to let it go for the night, but I don’t want to brush this off either. This might be the first time I’m seeing the real Livvy… the person behind the jokes and quick comebacks.
“So, this guy… is he the reason you’re so fed up?” I ask, watching her closely.
She nods, her fingers now gripping the edge of her glass a little too tightly.
“Yeah, it’s mostly him. He’s got this way of making everything feel like it's your fault, like nothing you do is ever good enough. And he’s the kind of guy who’ll make you feel likeyou'rethe problem when things go wrong. It’s exhausting.” She exhales sharply. “I’ve been stuck in this cycle for too long, and I’m starting to wonder if it's even worth it anymore.”
I lean in. “I’m sorry, Livvy. That sounds like a toxic situation to be in.”
She waves her hand dismissively, but the smile she gives me is small and tired. “That’s why Ivy invited me here for a break. To work out what I want to do next.”
I nod, understanding more than she probably realizes. A break is exactly what she needs. The pressure and strain of expectation can become too much after a while.
“You deserve it,” I say, trying to reassure her without making it sound pitying. “I mean, we all get caught up in what we think weshoulddo, instead of what we actually want.”
Livvy glances at me, a glimmer of more, maybe relief, passing through her eyes. “Yeah, that’s exactly it. I’ve been so focused on doing the right thing for so long that I forgot what it feels like to…live.”
She falls quiet for a moment, staring into her glass, watching the amber liquid swirl, as if she’s looking for answers. I can tell she’s in her head, probably grappling with everything she’s been pushing aside for months.
Before I can say anything else, the food arrives. The waiter sets down two steaming plates in front of us, each one looking more delicious than the other.
