Page 89 of Songbird
Iacceptasaltycracker from Marissa, take one nibble, then hand it back with a grimace.
“Thank you,” I say to my bodyguard as my wave of nausea passes. “But if I never eat another one of those in my life, it’ll be too soon.”
She grins and steps back as I reposition my in-ear monitor and accept my guitar from a member of the stage crew. He hovers for a minute while I settle the strap across my body, then moves away when I nod to say I’m set and give him a smile of thanks.
Beside me in the darkened wing, Pia slips her phone into her pocket and turns her attention to the host of tonight’s charity benefit concert. He’s giving a presentation about the importance of therapy dogs on the mental health and well-being of military veterans. The statistics are promising and the case studies heartwarming, and I’m close to tears when Pia gently touches my arm and guides me away from the stage.
“Are you all right?” she asks.
I sniffle and try to laugh. “I’m fine. It’s the pregnancy hormones. My emotions are so muddled these days. I can’t stop crying.”
Pia gives me an empathetic smile and offers me a tissue from her purse. “It’s not the hormones, Rosie, or not hormones on their own. You’ve been through a lot these last couple of months. More than most people experience in a lifetime.”
Understatement of the century, and though it might look like I’ve got my act together, the truth is that my emotions have never felt so out of control. I’ve gone from the debilitating lows of fear, rage, and helplessness to the heady highs of more love, hope, and happiness than I’ve ever known. I’ve embraced the very worst and the very best of life and I’m not going to lie. I could use a nap.
Preferably in bed, where the man I love is recovering from his injury, and not just in a physical sense. I’m worried about Finn. He’s been quiet and introspective since they released him from hospital more than a week ago. He’s compliant and uncomplaining with the rehab, so he’s healing well, and he’s more attentive to me than ever. I’ve never felt more loved, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s struggling with something. Too often he becomes lost in his thoughts, like something is bothering him and he won’t tell me what. But I’ve got a good idea.
I’m here to perform tonight because this cause means so much to me, but I’m impatient to return home and tell him he’s got nothing to worry about. I know how to make things right.
I accept Pia’s tissue and dab at my eyes. “But the show must go on, right?”
She sighs and pulls me deeper backstage, finding an empty nook away from prying ears. The noises from the concert fade into the background.
“It’s not always easy to do my job,” she says quietly. “I need to balance a client’s personal life with her public image, and the choices I make don’t always make sense on the outside. I thought I was doing all the right things.”
“Pia.” I take her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. “We’ve talked about this. What happened with Lauren wasn’t your fault, and you’ve been so incredibly supportive ever since. Canceling my appearances. Handling the media. Giving me the time and space I need to rest and be with Finn. You’ve been wonderful.”
Her smile is warm, but I can see she’s still struggling with a misplaced sense of responsibility, so I give her an awkward one-armed hug around my guitar.
“We’re good,” I say as I let her go. “I promise.”
“Well, I have some good news on the publicity front,” she says. “I would have waited until after your set to tell you, but the production manager just let me know there’s a five-minute delay to our slot time, so we’ve got a little time to fill.”
“Good news?” I give her my full attention. “What is it?”
“It looks like Chip will be called as a witness in Lauren’s trial. Their affair will be officially exposed, the truth about the breakdown of your relationship will become part of the public record, and the smear campaign he so diligently coordinated against you will be wiped from the collective memory. He’s already feeling the ramifications in the industry. Clients and company heads are canceling their meetings left, right, and center. Nobody wants to be associated with him. I predict a disappearance from LA altogether in the not-too-distant future.”
My smile is weak. “Thanks, Pia. Thatisgood news and I’m glad Chip’s going to get what’s coming to him, but you know what?” I laugh with a little disbelief. “I don’t care. Isn’t that strange? I don’t care if he’s happy or not happy or in the business or out of it. I don’t even care all that much about what peoplethink of me. I have everything I could ever want in life and I just… I don’t need anything else. You know?”
Pia frowns for a moment, like she’s never heard a celebrity declare they aren’t invested in their public image, then she tilts her head with a friendly smile. “Keep this up and you might be the easiest client I’ve ever had.”
“Well, if you’re looking for easy, stick with me. I’ve been thinking about my next move, both in music and in life, and I’ve decided that the best thing for my family is to step away from the spotlight altogether.”
“Oh?” Pia frowns. “What do you mean?”
I smile to myself. “Running away to a little cabin in the woods maybe.”
Her brows draw in deeper. “And what does Finn think about this?”
I scoop my hair off my shoulder to reset my guitar, and Pia fusses with my curls until they’re sitting just right.
“Finn doesn’t want this life,” I tell her. “He doesn’t want to be chased and photographed and splashed all over people’s social media feeds, and I can’t blame him. Look at what my fame has put us through already. I need to start thinking about more than just me and what I want. I need to think about the people I love—Finn and the baby—and I’ve never had to do that before. Isn’t that wild? For the first time in my life, I have a real reason to be selfless.”
Pia rolls her lips, like she’s considering her words carefully. “Rosie. You’ve worked damn hard and sacrificed so much to be where you are today. You’re one of the good ones, and I don’t say that lightly. Not everyone with your kind of money and influence uses their power to make the world a better place. And I admit I don’t know Finn that well, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of man who would expect you to give up everything you’ve earned just because he’s uncomfortable with the spotlight.”
“No, he’s not.” I lift my chin. “He’s the kind of man who would give up hislifefor me. The least I can do is love him enough to hear him even when he’s not speaking. He’s not happy, Pia, and I’m determined to do everything I can to fix that.”
My publicist worries her bottom lip and her brown eyes warm with concern. “Even if it means sacrificing everything you’ve worked for? You’ve fought so hard to claw back control from Chip. Are you really going to put your fate into another man’s hands all over again?”
