Page 75 of Songbird
“Mistr_ess_el?” she asks, her voice too steady to be natural. “Mr. Stanley Lowe?”
“That’s right. I’m sorry, Rosie, but he’s in Los Angeles.”
“Oh, God.” Rosie’s breath escapes in a quivering exhale. “He’s here?”
“It looks that way,” I say grimly. “And that changes things.”
The color drains from Rosie’s cheeks, leaving her ashen, and I get up just so I can lift her off her chair, settle myself onto it, and tuck her onto my lap. Her chest moves in short, shallow rises and falls, and her hands are clamped together in her lap. I pry them free to twist my fingers around hers, hoping my warmth will transfer quickly.
“I can’t believe he’s here,” she whispers. “I’m so… so…”
“Scared?”
“Yes, I’m scared. I’m also angry.” She curls against me and turns her face into my bare neck. “I hate this.”
“Me too, Songbird. I hate it so fucking much.”
I rub her back in soothing circles, waiting for her muscles to loosen, and when her breathing slows into a more natural rhythm, I reach for her schedule and twist it around so she can see the notes I’ve written in blue ink across the black-and-white printout.
“We need to cancel your appointments for today,” I tell her, pointing at the engagements with her hair stylist and her beauty team. “And delay your meeting with the label on Monday morning. We’ll stay here, lay low for the next twenty-four hours, and hope Drew has more information in a few days. Even if we don’t, your television appearance might still work out. I’ll reach out to the studio for more information about their security protocols. If they’re not good enough, we’ll cancel your guest spot too.”
“Hang on a minute.” Rosie pushes against my chest, staring at me with confusion in her red-rimmed eyes. “I’m not canceling anything.”
“What do you mean? Of course we’re canceling.”
“No, Finn. We’re not. I can’t and I won’t.”
“Rosie,” I say, panicked at the determination creasing her forehead. “Think about it. The guy’s psychotic, and this comeback tour that Pia’s organized puts you right in his hands.”
Rosie fidgets with the hem of my shirt. “Not necessarily.”
My arms tighten around her, like if I hold her close enough, I can keep her here until she sees reason. “Yes, it does. She wants you to be seen. Isn’t that what she said? She’s deliberately tipping off the press over the next week or two so there’ll be pictures of you looking good and moving on fromhim?”
“It’s my job, Finn. One of the more frustrating parts of it, yes, but that’s the way it is. And I trust Pia. She knows what she’s doing.”
I shake my head, unable to hide my distaste for the whole concept. My rage is easier to disguise, but it’s there. It may be the way the entertainment business works, and Rosie seems to accept the interest in her personal life as par for the course, but the whole treating-Rosie-like-a-commodity approach makes my blood steam.
“Mistr_ess_elalready knows where you are, Rosie,” I say, desperate to make her consider the risks from my point of view. “All he needs to do is follow the paps to get ahead of your next location. We don’t know what he’s capable of, and he might have more than a knife this time. It’s too dangerous.”
Rosie slips off my lap with a sigh, taking the chair beside me and my hands into hers. They’re trembling, but I get the impression she’s trying to soothe me and not the other way around. “I hear what you’re saying, and I understand why you want to handle it the way you do, but we need to come up with a different strategy. I’m not hiding from anyone. Not anymore.”
“It’s not hiding,” I protest. “It’s… It’s…”
She drops her head to one side and reaches up to brush my cheek. “It’s hiding.”
“Okay. It’s hiding. So what? We were hiding at Silver Leaf for three weeks, and that was pretty great, wasn’t it?”
Her mouth tips up at the corner and she leans in to kiss me. “It was wonderful, but it was also temporary, and being back herein LA, making plans with Pia, who really gets me, knowing how keen my label is to hear my new music… I’m excited, Finn. For the first time in a long time, I feel energized about what’s next. I’m finally in control of my own life, and I’m not prepared to give that up so soon after I found it again.”
My heart drops as my yearning to give her everything—safety as well as confidence, security as well as courage—gains the upper hand over my terror. I brush a thumb across her bottom lip, then her cheekbone, the color starting to come back into both, then lean in and kiss her softly. “I don’t want to jeopardize any of that, but I need to keep you safe.”
She latches on to my wrist, holding my palm against her jaw, and closes her eyes briefly.
“But, Finn, I need to be the me I want to be, even if some days it’s hard. You’ve shown me it’s possible to trust my instincts and not allow myself to be pushed around by a man who scares me. It doesn’t matter if that man is Chip or a music exec or a pap on the street or… or a deranged fan who goes too far. I need to be brave enough to sayno. No, I won’t be weak for you. No, I won’t run from the hard things. No, I won’t let fear win.”
She’s right. I know she’s right. But that doesn’t make me wrong.
“Songbird, I get it. I do. And I’m so damn proud of you. You’re smart and you’re strong and the whole world should know it, but this thing with your stalker is about more than proving what a powerhouse you are. It’s about your safety. Possibly even your life. I can’t send you into the world knowing there’s a very real threat out there.”
