Page 25 of Sunshine
I take one of those breaths that parents are supposed to take when they’re about to lose their shit. It doesn’t help. If anything, I feel more insane.
“I should go.” Poppy slings her ridiculously large bag over her shoulder, then pulls out an orange scarf and winds it around her neck.
“Wait a second,” I say, more to myself than anyone else. I need a moment to think. One minute, we’re cooking and laughing, and my tongue is on Poppy’s wrist and her hand is trembling in mine. The next, her phone is ringing and she’s collecting her stuff and walking out the door. Whatever’s happening here is happening too fast.
Is she leaving because of Wade—or because of me?
“I’m sorry, Izzy,” I say in a rush to earn back a couple of parenting points. “You’re right. That was a very bad word, and I shouldn’t have said it.” Then I turn to Poppy, keeping my voice as even as I can. “Why is Wade calling you?”
Poppy tips her head to one side and purses her pouty lips. “Why do you want to know?”
She knows why, but if she needs to hear it again, then I’m only too happy to say it. “Because he’s a di— He’s not a nice guy. You can do better than Wade fu— Wade Mitchell.”
She laughs quietly under her breath, then drops her eyes as she hitches her bag higher onto her shoulder. “Wrong answer.”
“Are you leaving?” Izzy asks her. “What about dinner?”
Poppy rounds the table to drop a kiss on the top of Izzy’s head. “Your dad is going to be a superstar and make me a burger to go,” she says. “My mom needs my help with something at home, and then I need to go to bed because we’ve got another big daytomorrow. School and then your first ballet lesson, remember? Did you decide which color tutu you’re going to wear?”
“The green one,” she says.
“Good choice,” Poppy approves.
After a loaded pause while Poppy stares at me and I try to think of therightanswer, I admit defeat with a sagging breath and dig around for a takeout box. I assemble a burger for Poppy, pack it up, and she accepts it with a smile that only lifts one cheek.
As she disappears into the living room and the front door clicks shut behind her, Izzy releases a dramatic sigh and props her cheek in one hand, elbow on the table. “I miss Poppy already.”
I smile like I’m not just as disappointed that Poppy’s gone, not to mention riddled with guilt that my idiot moves just ruined Izzy’s good mood. “You’ve still got me, Little Bee.”
Izzy gives me an unimpressed look as I serve up her dinner, then join her with a plate of my own. Her low mood hits me hard because with everything going on in her life right now, Izzy feeling caught in the middle of tension between me and Poppy is not an option.
Our little family is complicated enough without my thoughtless kisses, stupid jealousy, and desperate curiosity to know if Poppy is dating her old high school boyfriend. I can’t afford to wish that I was the one calling her phone because I missed the sound of her voice. That I was the one telling her how incredible she is. Touching and teasing her until she’s writhing in my sheets.
There’s no space for any of that in my world.
I can’t be the reason for more uncertainty in Izzy’s life, which means I can’t be selfish or reckless the way I was tonight. I need to be smarter and more mature. More responsible. I need to keep my mind—and my mouth—off Poppy.
eight
Poppy
I reach across mybed for the box of Cheerios as Daisy digs a handful of popcorn out of the bowl wedged between us. The open laptop on her knees is the only thing lighting up my darkened bedroom, and I sink back against my pillows as the closing credits of tonight’s movie run across the screen.
“I love that story,” I say with a sigh.
“I know.” Daisy skims her trackpad to close the browser and open a new one. “That’s why I chose it.”
I wriggle deeper under my winter quilt as I watch Daisy log in to her social media account. “Butwhydo I love it? It’s about a woman who falls in love with a man who’s obviously wrong for her, and she does all the work to get him to notice her, and before they can sail off into the sunset, she has to give up her tail and her voice and herfamilyso she can stay in his world. Like…” I screw up my nose, disappointed in myself. “Where’s the girl power in that?”
Daisy shrugs. I can tell by the way she narrows her eyes at the screen and navigates through one link after another that I’ve only got half her attention. “I think it’s the hope of living happilyever after, right? That no matter how hopeless things start out or how fucked up they get in the middle, love always wins in the end.”
I absently rub a hand across my rib cage where a line of ink reminds me of the exact same thing. “You know me too well, Daze.”
She looks at me long enough to shoot me an affectionate wink.
“Tonight was a great idea,” I tell her, watching what she’s doing on her computer without any real investment. “I didn’t realize how much I missed our in-bed movie nights. You remember how often we did this as kids?”
“Mmhm.” Daisy nods with her eyes glued to the screen. “Every other weekend from the year we turned twelve to the night before you left Aster Springs.”
