Page 111 of Sunshine
“That’s hard for me to hear, Poppy, because I look back on our whole history and wonder which parts of it were real.”
“All of it,” I promise her. “Every single minute.”
“But you’ve been hiding something important from me for most of our lives.”
“Because I loved you too much to lose you, Daze, and I didn’t want you to think I was just like all those girls you hated. I was never your friend to get to Dylan.”
“I believe you, but…” She shakes her head and lifts one shoulder. “When things changed this year, why didn’t you tell me then?”
“There wasn’t only one reason,” I admit. “I was guilty about breaking our twelve-month man ban. I know how hard you’ve been trying to get past what happened last year, and I promised to support you while you worked through it. I’m a terrible friend for not sticking with our plan. Plus, I didn’t want to be happy when you were sad.”
Daisy stares at our hands, and her throat moves in a stilted swallow. I know she’s thinking about her most recent relationship and all the reasons she had for walking away. Reasons that made more sense to me last summer when we both needed to heal, but now strike me more as excuses for my bestie to run from a man she loves.
I switch out the hand holding hers so I can wrap my arm around her shoulders. “Daze…”
“I get what you’re saying and why you’re saying it, but I don’t want to talk about my ex right now.”
“We don’t have to,” I reassure her.
She responds with a grateful nod. “Thanks. So…you felt guilty. And…?”
“And I was scared,” I tell her. “You want the best for Dylan and Izzy, right? Someone smart and stable who can help them make sense of the world. I’m not that person, Daze. I’m not the woman who’s going to come into Dylan’s life and make things easier. I’m the one who’s going to feed his kid cereal when he wants her to eat sprouts, let her stay up late watching movies, and be okay with her using her fists instead of her words when bullies give her a hard time on the playground. Izzy’s smarter than me already, and that isn’t going to change. She’s going to run rings around me when she’s older, and I’ll probably never catch up. I don’t pay my bills on time, I don’t own a pair of jeans that aren’t torn in the ass, and my phone’s never fully charged. The truth is that Dylan’s probably going to have more on his plate, not less, if he decides he wants a future with me.”
“Maybe that’s exactly what Dylan needs,” she replies.
“Do you really believe that?”
“I think I do. He’s been different lately. Happier and more relaxed, and it’s all because of you. I wanted him to find someone to make his life brighter. Someone to love him and Izzy as hard as they deserve to be loved. Nobody can do that better than you.”
I hold my breath, daring to hope.
“I’m happy for you and Dylan,” she says.
“Really?”
“Yes.
“Oh, Daze.”
I tackle her to the dock in a bear hug, grunting as my elbows hit the timber, then laughing with her as she fights to get upright again. We’re both crying as we right ourselves. Those wet, laughing sobs of relief and love.
“So, you forgive me?” I ask.
“Yes,” she replies. “I forgive you. Just don’t doubt our friendship again, okay? Don’t keep things from me because they’re hard to say. Say the difficult things, and we’ll work through them together. You mean too much to me for us to behave like strangers.”
“Okay.” I rub my face and nod fiercely to convince her. “I will. I promise.”
“Good. Now Dylan said you haven’t slept?”
“No,” I say, and the reminder crashes over me in a wave of fatigue. “Not since the night before last.”
“And you’re working tonight?”
“Yep. Usual shift at The Tipple.”
“Okay. So why don’t you go home, sleep and shower before work, then come to the house when you’re done?”
“It’ll be late…”
