Page 98 of Wallflower
Dad’s brows snap together. “What?”
“I don’t want to do to you what she did to us.” My voice breaks as I swallow my tears. “I can’t leave you behind to chase a dream that’s only mine. How selfish would I be to sacrifice your happiness for my own?”
“Ah, Blossom.” Dad gets up and rounds the table, pulling me to my feet and holding me in his arms. I sniffle against his warm, familiar chest, clutching him tighter when he releases a sad sigh. “I never realized how much your mother’s choices affected you. I should have seen it, and I didn’t.” He kisses my hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I draw back and try to smile for him. “You had your own pain to deal with.”
He holds me by the shoulders, studying me until he’s satisfied I’m not about to break down in tears, then gently pushes me back into my chair before returning to his.
“I want you to listen to me, Violet,” he says. “You are the kindest, most caring, and most selfless person I’ve ever met. You’re smart and talented. You’re beautiful inside and out. I’ve always known it, and now the world knows it, too. If you want to go to Milan, then you need to go to Milan. I want you to go. You aren’t abandoning me. You aren’t letting me down. In fact, I’d be disappointed if you let your sense of obligation stand in the way of this priceless opportunity. I don’t want to be the reason for anyone’s regrets. Especially not yours.”
I blink away my tears as his words hit some sort of bullseye in my heart. That was the reason I was able to forgive my mom for leaving me. I never wanted to be the reason she stayed trapped in a life she didn’t want.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Dad smiles even though his eyes fill with sorrow. “Good. So, what does that mean? Are you going to Milan?”
I stare into my mug of coffee, distractedly noting that it’s turned cold.
“I don’t know,” I admit in a whisper, thinking of Milan and Chord and the San Francisco studio. “I have no idea what I’m going to do.”
thirty-seven
Violet
DAY 77 AT SLVER LEAF... ONLY 9 TO GO
Three days later, Istill don’t know what I should do. I sit at the desk in Chord’s home office, open my email from the headquarters of Leonardo Bellucci, and read it for what feels like the thousandth time. The words are so familiar, and the ones that make the most impact leap off the screen.
Junior designer. Three-year opportunity. Immediate start.
Bridal couture.
Milan, Italy.
A couple more phrases float before my eyes, even though they exist only in my head.
Everything you’ve worked for.
The life you’ve always wanted.
A dream come true.
But no health insurance, I remind myself firmly. No way to take care of my dad and no possibility of him coming with me. No family. No friends. No studio in San Francisco. And no Chord.
My fingers hover over the keyboard, and for the hundredth time, I tap out my reply. A polite and long-winded way of saying,Thanks but no thanks.
And for the hundredth time I delete it all and start the process all over again.
Junior designer. Three-year opportunity. Immediate start. Bridal couture. Milan, Italy. Everything you’ve worked for. The life you’ve always wanted. A dream come true.
I can’t say yes. And I can’t bring myself to say no. My head tells me to do one thing, my heart aches for something so very different, and I desperately wish one would grow loud enough to drown out the other.
I move the cursor to another tab and my screen lights up with theViolet James—Bridal Couturewebsite that Chord had built for me. The colors and branding match my new studio perfectly, and the web designer did a fantastic job repurposing my social media content to make it look like I have much more experience than I do. My “about” page features a bio that makes me wonder who this talented, sought-after Violet James person is and a contact page that includes a photo of my new storefront. A street location. An email address. A way for me to conjure up new dreams and chase them on my own.
No. Not on my own. With Chord.
I bounce my knees and navigate back to my email account. Open the job offer, then click on “reply.”
