Page 83 of Sins or Secrets
I just need to know about Logan first though.
“What did Logan look like when he left?”
“Awful. Don’t take this the wrong way but he looked worse than you.Although I think, judging from your puffy eyes, that the sleep did you some good.He looked like he had no sleep.He told me to take care of you when you woke up.He got a call and had to go.”
“God,” I wince.
I don’t know what Logan would have thought about last night.I remember talking and spilling the truth about everything, but my brain wasn’t working.Nothing was working except my mouth.
I told him about the baby. I remember his face when I told him what happened, and then there was nothingness.
I don’t know if I cried so much I passed out or if I cried myself to sleep.
What if he doesn’t come back?
There wasn’t a damn thing I’d said that wasn’t hard to hear.I’m pretty sure I said stuff too that I shouldn’t have said.Like when I said Dad might have done something before.Logan would have known I meant he killed before.Then in the letter from Lilly, she’d said Dad killed Heather's brother.
God, this is such a mess. So many years later and it’s still such a mess.A mess that seems to have been going on before I was born.
“Right… so I’m wondering if I’m supposed to turn the proverbial blind eye again today, or ask questions,” Bree states cutting into my thoughts.She looks a little annoyed and I can’t blame her.
“I’m sorry Bree.”
“What exactly are you sorry for Quinn?Right now I’m kind of wondering if maybe I should leave you alone and just come around when the school starts.”
“No, please don’t do that.”
“I’m starting to feel like a burden and I don’t want to feel like that.Especially when you don’t answer my calls.I’m supposed to be at the salon today.I only came around to check on you because I was so worried.”
“I’m so sorry. I truly am. Some stuff happened over the weekend that sent me over the edge.”
“What kind of stuff? I’m sorry to ask but please understand that I just want to be your friend and if I ask questions like that it’s because I care.I guess in the beginning I was just so excited to have you back that I was more understanding of you wanting to keep things quiet.But now I think maybe it’s just that you don’t trust me.”
“It’s not that at all.”
“Then talk to me, please talk to me.I’m worried sick about you and I just want to know what happened to my best friend.”
I motion for her to sit next to me.She does and rests her hands on her knees.
Us sitting like this feels like the girls we were years ago.
She’s my oldest friend and the only true one I ever had.
It’s time to talk to her.
“Lilly’s lawyer brought over some letters and I found out that Kaitlyn Cambray isn’t my real mother,” that’s how I begin.
I start with the thing that triggered everything and end with the rest of the story.Including a little more than I was able to tell Logan last night.
I explained that I needed physio for eight months after and started Juilliard in the spring semester,later than everyone else did and had to work through the summer school to catch up on what I missed.Then I also alluded to the fact that I was able to get my divorce because I have something that could destroy Riley.
The only secret I held back was what that thing was.And, I feel that it’s something I need to keep my silence on.It’s not part of the past or the present.It’s a thing that I took as my ticket out of the tangled web of lies and secrets that bound me to him.
“My God, Quinn,” Bree mutters, shaking her head.
“I know. It’s a lot, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Sweet Jesus,I knew it was bad but God… it’s all terrible.Everything.”
