Page 42 of Play of Love
“And what makes you want me, Josh?” I continued to stare as he looked me over with appreciation.
“Everything, baby. I want to strip you down and feast on every single part of you.” His eyes turned a darker shade and he lifted the end of my ponytail. “Imagine our naked bodies pressed against each other. I want to see the pleasure on your face as we fu—”
“Shhh, language.” I pressed my fingers to his lips. He lingered on the edge of my fingertips and kissed it. “See, that’s just the thing. For a start…” I moved away from the wall and moved closer to him. He moved, too, so that our faces were just inches apart.
“For a start what, baby?”
“For a start, if you were mine, I wouldn’t share you with anybody. And…we would make love. It would be love, and not some meaningless act of attraction to pass the time.”
The desire on his face receded, and that playfulness shrank away. Instead I saw the effect my words had on him. He searched my eyes and moved back so I could step away from the wall.
Before I left I turned back to face him and observed the contemplative look on his face. I’d bet no one had ever said anything like what I said to him before. I’d bet these women just did what he told them and fell down and worshiped him.
I had never been like that, and I wouldn’t change. He fixed his gaze on mine once more and shifted his weight from one leg to the next.
“Don’t drink too much, Josh. Please don’t. You’re stronger than you think.”
I knew even before I left that he wouldn’t listen, and since I wouldn’t see him till Monday he’d most likely spend the weekend undoing all the work and progress we’d made this week.
I’d hoped that it wouldn’t come to this, and that maybe he could have snapped out of the drinking, but it hadn’t happened. If we were going to get through this time together, and work together, he needed to stop drinking so much. It would ruin him, itwasruining him and he would lose everything.
I thought that maybe I would keep tabs on him this week and try to help him with that, too.
* * *
Josh
* * *
I couldn’t get the image of Amy out of my head.
“…if you were mine I wouldn’t share you with anybody. And…we would make love.”
How the hell was I supposed to forget that?
Make love? Did that even exist? Love. What a myth. It didn’t stop me from wanting her, though, nor the desire that coursed throughout me.
I finished the bottle of vodka five minutes after she left and drank the rest of the rum. My mind left me after that and I woke up with Allegra pressed up against me, wrapped within the tangle of the cream satin bed sheets. My head was rested between her naked breasts, my arms around her waist.
It was just, me and her, and I couldn’t remember when she’d gotten here.
It was dark outside, so it could have been very early in the morning.
She stirred when I moved and rolled onto her side but didn’t wake up.
I moved away from her and sat up as the thoughts swirled around in my mind. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but knew that all of this had to stop at some point.
It had to stop, but I didn’t have the strength to do it by myself.
Every time I thought I could face the situation something happened and I lost any ounce of strength I might have gathered.
As I looked at Allegra’s perfect body I knew that I didn’t want her. I actually didn’t want any of this but it had become a way of life. A habit.
And Amy, all she did was drive me crazy. Earlier, she’d driven me mad with her words and her body.
I hadn’t lied when I said I wanted her.
Now look at me, I was plastered, and in bed with another woman.
