Page 114 of Play of Love
“God, what happened?” I clutched my chest. “It sounds serious. Baby, was I drunk? You know better than to talk to me when I’ve had a few.” I was trying, really going all out to feign innocence, but she wasn’t buying it.
“I’m not going to even answer that. If you think me breaking up with you is something to joke about, then that’s says everything.” The critical tone in her voice was evident.
Okay maybe joking about it wasn’t the best thing.
“I don’t think it was a joke.”
“You could certainly fool me.” She met me with accusing eyes.
“I just want you to talk to me. Without the scowl.” I chuckled as she scowled even more. “I missed you.” She turned back to the window, but I did see the slight hint of pink flush her cheeks on hearing my words. “Did you miss me?”
“No.” She bit the inside of her lip and tossed her hair over her shoulder casually as if she really didn’t care at all.
“Ouch. Don’t lie. I missed our Saturday walks in the park, and date nights when you’d make me a Mexican feast if we didn’t go out. I miss you laughing anytime someone said the wordRat.Hey, remember that time when you nearly died laughing when you saw a host of rats escaping from a science lab?”
“Not so much.” Her dark brows slanted in a frown.
This was fruitless. I was going in for the general everyday stuff, but she wasn’t budging. What I missed most about her was how she made me feel. I could be comfortable around her, and I never had to try to impress her. I also missed her body. To annoy her, I rested my hand on her thigh and she smacked me, swatting me away.
“Abi, come on.” I smiled and playfully leaned in to kiss her when I stopped at another traffic light.
Now she slapped me in my face. “What is wrong with you?”
“Ouch! Damn, I just wanted a kiss,” I said, poking her in the waist where she was ticklish.
She tried not to laugh and scowled at me again. “You are so weird.”
“Okay, so would you rather we sit in silence for the whole journey?” The journey would have taken up to ten hours, depending on traffic. I wasn’t sure if I could stand it, especially since I was used to her being bubbly and a lot livelier than this.
“Did you have something else you needed to talk about?” Her tone was very businesslike. It was the kind of tone you’d expect to hear when you called a customer services department.
“How are you?” I kept my gaze on her.
I knew she’d made a lot of changes to her life with her move to New York. Margo had told me that Abi was doing really well with her job in advertising. It didn’t surprise me because she was always good at whatever she put her mind to.
“I’m fine. Really good. You?”
Well, at least she asked.
“Good. I’m good. And work?”
“Fantastic. Going to New York was the best thing I ever did.”
There was undoubtedly a double-edged meaning to that answer. I was certain she included leaving me in that mix too. I couldn’t blame her. I was an asshole. Most of the guys on the team were; being on the team seemed to come with the personality. I should have never been with a sweet girl like Abi, but it was her sweetness that drove me to her in the first place like a damn predator to prey. But I wasn’t the kind of guy who should have had a girlfriend.
I had wanted to cheat on her so many times that I’d lost count. For a majority of the time we were together, I saw her as a hindrance more than my girlfriend. As much as I’d wanted to cheat, though, I could never bring myself to do it. Instead, I treated her like she was some kind of burden on me, a damn drag that stopped me from having sex with the host of women who congregated to worship me. I all but rejoiced when she said she was leaving me, and, within five minutes of her leaving, I dragged that redhead that had secured herself to my lap off to my car where I practically devoured her. And the redhead wasn’t the only one that night.
That night I thought I was free to do anything. Now the thought of how I’d been made me feel sick. Sick to my core that I could have been like that, and truly ashamed.
No…ashamedwasn’t even the right word.
What I felt at my disgusting behavior could never be described with words.
Being with Abi, was like having someone hand you a pot of everything that could mean something in life. A pot of pure gold, and the idiot that I was lost her. I lost the one women in my life who was everything.
That night I metaphorically picked the pot up and emptied all the goodness into the sea. Like it was nothing.Like she was nothing.
I’d been a fool, and, as Abi held my gaze now, more shame filled me. That night was the last time I saw her. It was the reason for the coldness she gave me. She looked away again, and I returned my focus to the road.
