Page 55 of Blossoms of the Heart
Chapter 12
Phoebe
* * *
That took some strength.
Some damn strength I didn’t know I had.
Jesus please don’t let me fall over. My legs were shaking so much as I walked away from Tai.
Walked away from the man that had haunted my fantasies my whole life.
But, Tai couldn’t have said it better.
Complicated.
What a good word. It said it all and stopped any further conversation or questions.
The user of the word could take refuge in the sense that they wouldn’t be expected to explain themselves and the hearer would just have to bite the damn bullet and accept whatever complicated meant.
I wasn’t angry at him for last night. No.
And, it was fine that nothing more than a crazy ass kiss happened between us.
As wild as it would have been, I didn’t know what I would have done if we’d ended up having sex on the beach. Right now I wanted to keep any sex on the beach limited to the drink and not the action.
And just now…
I would be lying if I said I expected anything other than hearing exactly what was on Tai’s mind.
Angry fucking.
What the hell?
He actually said that to me. And added to it by saying that stuff about Mom.
I would always feel guilty for the way that she treated him, like he was nothing. As if I was so much better than he was, and like he was trying to force himself on me.
It was all complicated. On my part and on his, and I suspected this ‘maybe’ girlfriend was the crux of his complication.
For me, it was all too much and I was exhausted. I couldn’t think straight and I always made crazy decisions when I was in this state.
Sticking to my very dry spell was safer.
A man in my life was the very last thing I needed, especially one like Tai who liked to play games and leave you feeling like you got sucked into a whirlwind backwards.
Tai watched me until I left the room.
There was nothing more to say.
No more temptation. It wasn’t good for me.
I went straight outside and decided on taking a walk in the park adjoining the
center and the museum.
I got completely lost in the beautiful, picturesque scenery that lay before me from the moment I cast my gaze to the park entrance.
