Page 134 of Blossoms of the Heart
Chapter 27
Phoebe
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Ididn’t know how I managed to keep my emotions under control after our dinner.
I pretended like everything was fine. Like I was fine even though inside I was screaming. I was dying from shame because of the pretense I had to front to the man I dearly loved.
Love.Oh wow, I didn’t realize just how much I loved Tai until the moment when the bubble I’d floated in popped and landed me on my ass.
Landed me right on the floor ass down, and gave me a rude awakening.
Those kids Tai talked about weren’t going to be with me.
So in those few moments when I listened to him talk so casually about the wisdom he was going to pass on to his kids I knew that that was a life I wouldn’t be part of.
We got back to Tokyo on Sunday night. I would have gone back to Tai’s place but I needed to be alone. so I lied and told him I had cramps.
The caring man that he was still wanted me to go home with him so he could take care of me, feed me chocolate and give me a foot massage. That was what he said, and while I would have loved to accept I couldn’t.
The pretense that I was fine was killing me and anymore would make my head implode.
I insisted on coming back to Akito’s.
The minute I got to my room I broke down. I threw myself onto my bed and broke down.
Crying from the depths of my soul in a way that I didn’t know if I could bring myself back.
The door opened and I lifted my head. I hadn’t meant to attract any attention. It was late and the last thing I wanted to do was wake Akito up.
I didn’t want to talk either.
“Phoebe.” It was Mitsuke.
She walked in dressed in pajamas.
“You’re here.” God must have known I would need her because she was a welcomed sight.
“There’s a rat in my apartment. I’ve been here since yesterday. Are you crying?” She gasped when she came closer and saw me. “God what happened?”
I shook my head. “I can’t.” It was great to see her but I couldn’t talk.
“Why?”
“Because everything is shit.” More tears came.
“What happened?”
“No matter what I do, everything will just be a mess.” I pulled in a deep breath, then took some shallow breaths.
“Did Tai do something?”
I shook my head. “It’s me.”
“Phoebe talk to me.”
She sat next to me on the bed and I straightened up.
