Page 95 of My Sweetest Obsession
I narrow my gaze on her. “Yeah, but how did you?—”
“Your mom told me…”
Of course she did.
The relationship Mom and Ivy share is special, something I’m so happy they both have after Drew’s death, but sometimes, there are things that are better left unsaid. And I never know what kind of secrets—embarrassing or otherwise—Mom might spill to her.
Though, this one doesn’t sting as much as some of the others because I want Ivy to know this part of me, to help her understand why I am the way I am and why I turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with all those feelings I couldn’t deal with after what I did in Mom’s garden.
“I kind of shut down emotionally when we lost him, kept it all in, and Drew became the one who was much more open with his feelings. So, I started throwing the insult back at him, and it kind of became, I don’t know, a joke between us.”
Her lips curl into a soft smile, and she coasts her fingers across it, making me shudder and my cock ache at the gentle touch. “Are these the only tattoos you have?”
I shake my head, unease creeping across the back of my neck. “No, I have a newer one.”
“You do?”
Trepidation tightens my skin until it feels like it might rupture because I don’t know how Ivy will take this one.
But there isn’t any way to hide it from her, nor do I want to.
No more hiding.
I slowly turn and let her see my other ribcage and the ink I got there after the night she saved my life.
When she became even more to me than I thought possible…
Ivy sucks in a sharp breath. “Is that…”
I nod. “A peony. Whenever I see them, I think of you.”
The tears that had pooled in her eyes earlier fall now, and she nods. “They’re my favorite.”
“I know.” I slide my fingers under her chin and tilt her face up toward me. “And I knew that no matter what happened between us, even if you eventually told me to get the fuck out of your life for good, that I would never be able to fully walk away, that I would always want part of you with me. You saved me, Ivy, and now, I’ll have you with me forever, no matter what, as a reminder of what you did for me that night.”
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I can’t miss the tiny flicker of doubt that flashes in her eyes with my words, the reminder that this might not be forever the way we want it to be, and I can’t say I blame her after everything we’ve been through.
She could very well tell me tomorrow that this is all a huge mistake. That she got caught up in the moment and floated along on a tide of attraction that can’t wash away all the bad feelings and events of our pasts.
But I have to start living in the moment and planning a future where things do work out because if I stay grounded in the past, I’m never going to move out of it.
We’ll both stay trapped in the pain and grief.
I slide my hands around her, hugging her as tightly to me as I can. “I will never walk away from you unless you ask me to, Ivy. I’m not going anywhere.”
Another tear slowly trails down her cheek, and I kiss it away, fighting against my own. Because if I don’t, the floodgates will open and I won’t be able to stop the tsunami of emotions I’ve been holding in for so long.
Goosebumps break out over her skin as I skim my fingertips along her back to unhook her bra. She leans into my touch, shivering as I drag it down her arms and let it fall to the floor.
I walk her back the final two steps until her legs bump the bed. Capturing her face in my palms, I kiss her deeply as I slowly lower her back onto it. She groans, her tongue sweeping along mine, her body shifting restlessly.
Pulling away, I feather my lips over her cheek. “Is it too uncomfortable for you on your back right now?”
She shakes her head. “I’m okay for a little while.”
