Page 84 of My Sweetest Obsession
“You can.”
My lip trembles as I fight another sob. “But how?”
“Because love isn’t rational, Ivy.” She sighs. “You don’t control it; it controls you. And I’ve never seen a situation more fucked up than the one you’re in right now, believe me, but it doesn’t negate those feelings. It doesn’t turn them off and make them go away. And it isn’t instantly going to resolve just because you don’t want to love Camden Usher. The truth of the matter is, you loved Drew. You still do.”
Marlo slides off the table and squats in front of me, resting her hands on top of mine on my stomach.
“And you’re about to have a beautiful daughter, and he would have loved her very much.” Tears leak from my eyes as she stares at me. “But he’s gone.”
My chest tightens.
“And Cam is here. And Cam loves you. And he loves this baby. And he’s her uncle. And he’s not going anywhere. Not unless you explicitly tell him to, which I know you don’t have the heart to do because you love him, too. You just have to accept that.”
I shake my head, a sob catching in my throat again. “I can’t.”
“Maybe you can’t right now, but eventually, you will, and he’s still going to be here. But the longer you wait, the longer you don’t talk about this and try to convince yourself that you hate his guts while you’re still sleeping with him and letting him hold you at night, the harder you’re making it on yourself and on him. And you’re not a vindictive person, Ivy.” She squeezes my hand. “I know you don’t want to cause him any more pain than he’s already suffered, either. Both of you have suffered enough for ten thousand lifetimes, and it’s time for you both to let it go instead of clinging to it.”
I wish I could so easily believe Marlo’s words.
I wish it were that easy to forget everything that’s happened and move on from it.
I wish I could just let go instead of clinging to what I have left of Drew.
I wish Cam Usher had never come home for his mom’s birthday party that night.
I wish I had never seen him.
I wish I had never called out.
Because it’s partially my fault, too.
26
CAM
ONE WEEK LATER
Quiet conversations float through the air as everyone takes their seats and settles in for the start of the meeting. I slide into my usual spot in the back row and pull off my leather jacket, draping it on the seat next to me and running a hand through my hair to push it off my face.
Though tonight, I feel more like hiding behind it.
Not a word from Ivy since last week when we spoke in the nursery.
No texts.
No calls.
Just an endless void in my chest.
I’m not sure what I expected after that night, but returning to slipping into her house like some deranged stalker while she’s gone to leave her food and random fruits on the counter definitely wasn’t it.
Nor was feeling like I had somehow done something wrong when she insisted it was perfect and that she didn’t want anything changed.
Each time it feels like there might be a tiny step forward with Ivy, I end up right back where I started—desperate for any way to help her.
And I feel like I’m failing over and over again.
So, tonight’s meeting will be good.
