Page 45 of My Sweetest Obsession
But that doesn’t mean Ivy and their daughter are alone.
Never alone.
“She is going to know how much her father loved her, Ivy, because you’re going to tell her every day. So will her grandmother and everyone else who knew Drew. And she’s going to grow up with the best mom in the world, who’s going to love her fiercely and protect her and give her everything she needs to thrive. You’re going to do it.” I feather my lips across her temple, wanting so badly to do so much more for her than merely give her words that may mean nothing. “You’re going to be okay. I promise you that.”
She shakes her head almost frantically, her hair brushing my face. “You don’t know that.”
I nod, pressing my lips to the top of her head again. “I do. Because you deserve it, Ivy. After everything you’ve suffered because of me, you deserve the world, and I wish I could give it to you. I wish I could give him back.” That vise that wrapped around my chest the moment Drew died and has slowly tightened with each emotional blow somehow finds room to constrict even more, trying to steal my breath and words. But I need to say them. I have to get them out. “Every minute of every day, I think about it, Ivy. I think about that night and how differently I could have done things, how things should have gone. And how every single decision I made after that night was the wrong one. Not only for me, but for you, and for Drew. For this baby. For all of us. For the world. And now, I’m not the one really suffering the repercussions of it. You are, and I’m so fucking sorry for that.”
It feels more like a goodbye than an apology.
Probably because it is.
This won’t happen again.
She won’t allow me to see her this vulnerable. She won’t let me see her this weak. She will return to being the strong, stubborn Ivy who snatched that bottle from my hand and ensured I didn’t flush all my hard work down the fucking toilet in a moment of desperation.
So, I bury my face in her hair again and just hold her, letting her cry as my own tears soak into her thick, dark strands. She tightens her grip on my hand, her fingers entwined with mine over her stomach, and we lie like that for what feels like an eternity.
In the dark, neither of us say anything to break the silence, and when her sobbing finally stops, her body finally still, I press a kiss to the top of her head again and start to slip away, but she tightens her hold on my hand.
“Please stay…”
Her request seems loud even though it’s barely a whisper.
“You don’t want that, Ivy.”
She can’t want that.
But she nods without looking at me. “I do. At least, right now.”
She’ll hate me again come morning.
And that’s okay.
Right now, I have to give her what she needs, even if it kills me.
“I’d do anything for you, Ivy, give you anything you need. Anytime. Anywhere. Forever. All you have to do is ask.”
“I’m asking you to stay…”
14
IVY
My eyelids flutter open to a dark, cold room.
He’s gone.
I know it before I even fully wake from the best sleep I’ve had since I last slept in his arms. Back before I knew the truth…
Before I knew that he was responsible for Drew’s death and all my anguish.
His leather and citrus scent lingers, but the warmth of his hard body at my back and his strong arm wrapped around me has been replaced by the chill of an empty bed.
The bed he said he would never get in before he ravished me in the kitchen like he was starving for something only I could give him.
My body instantly heats with the memory, but the baby kicks, quickly returning me to reality.
