Page 21 of My Sweetest Obsession
Finally revealing the full truth to Ivy and Mom ripped open something that I can’t hold closed with sheer will any longer. I have to do something to try to stem the bleeding.
Otherwise, I’ll be stuck just like Prometheus, in this endless loop of agony.
The click of heels against the museum floor announces Roxy’s arrival before she rounds the bench and stops in front of me with a little grin tilting her lips. “I’m glad you called.”
I return the smile and motion for her to sit next to me. “I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner. Things have been…” I shrug and scrub my hand over my cheek, which is covered with several days’ worth of stubble. It’s impossible to describe how awful the past week has been. Sleepless nights and tormented days. Indecision and restlessness. The only things that have kept me grounded are Mom, meetings, and the knowledge that it is in my power to face all the things I did and do what I can to rectify them. With Ivy, that’s impossible, but with Roxy, I can at least try. “Things have been a little crazy.”
She settles next to me, crossing her long legs, exposing the smooth expanse of skin up to her thigh where the hem of her dress rests at a barely decent level. The delicate heels on her feet scream sexy yet professional, exactly what she has always been. Wicked smart and talented, not to mention stunningly beautiful.
Any man would be lucky to lock it down with her.
But she was never the woman who held my heart, even though I always cared about her as a good friend.
Her gaze rakes over me, taking in every detail of my appearance, which I’m sure is as haggard as I feel. “Good crazy or bad crazy?”
“A little bit of both.” Because it was good to finally see Mom and get everything off my chest with her. But everything else… “Mostly bad.”
Really bad.
Roxy winces, pressing her lips together. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I nod as I lower my elbows onto my knees and rest my face in my palms. “You’ve got a little bit of time?”
Her eyes dart to her watch, and she nods. “Yeah, I’m on my lunch break, so do you want to go somewhere and grab a bite?”
“I’d rather talk here, if that’s all right.”
Something about being in front of this painting helps focus me, drowns out that demon settled on my shoulders that whispers in my ear nearly constantly now, despite all my best efforts to silence him.
I look over at her and find her brow furrowed, eyes narrowed on me.
Roxy leans closer. “What’s going on with you, Cam? When I saw you here, I told you I’d been worried about you, and it’s true. I’ve been thinking about you a lot since then.”
I nod and swallow through the tightness in my throat. “Me, too.” Ever since my talk with Ivy and then Mom, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the other people I’ve hurt, whom I care about. All those who cared about me, too, but who got bulldozed by my addiction—to drugs and Ivy. “I owe you an apology.”
Her eyes flare wide. “For what?”
“You know for what.” Tension seeps into my shoulders, stiffening them and tightening my neck as the memory of the night we spent together that never should have happened flashes vividly through my mind. “What happened between us, it…” I shake my head, trying to clear away another mistake that had unintended consequences. “It wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have allowed it to go that far, not when I was so fucked up and I knew how you felt about me.”
She presses her lips together firmly, tilting her head slightly as she assesses me. Roxy has always been incredibly observant. Even back in art school, she was constantly analyzing everything and everyone, pointing out flaws in their artwork, not because she was trying to be mean or rude but because she could see things others could not.
It’s part of the reason we became such good friends.
I trusted her to tell me the truth, even if I didn’t like it.
Yet, I never told her the truth about what was happening with me when I crossed that line that had been drawn in the sand with her.
Her gaze sweeps over me, as if she’s seeking some physical evidence of what I was going through when I made that very unwise decision with her. “How bad was it?”
Shit.
I scrub my hands over my face and sigh. “Bad.”
By the time I heard they were engaged, I had fallen so far down the dark hole of addiction that it felt impossible to climb out of it. I scraped and clawed at vertical walls, trying to do just that, ripping my fingertips apart and get nowhere. Only the driving need to see Ivy again and reveal the truth to her, to stake my claim and voice my intent to fight for her, got me through the physical and emotional agony of changing my life.
“I heard you went to rehab not long after.”
Nodding, I run my hand through my hair, cracking my neck. “I did.”
