Page 183 of Blood & Snow
"I think so."
My fingers shake as I work the buttons on my shirt.
Xander's jaw tightens as he watches me peel back layers of fabric that show more bruising, rage flickering behind his expression before he masters it.
"They're dead," he reminds me as he gently kisses the back of my shoulder.
"Every man who touched you is feeding worms now."
I don't like that it comforts me when he says it, but it does.
Justice has been served in the only language he understands—blood for blood, death for suffering.
His punishment came as swiftly as the crime was committed and I'm back with him now.
I step into the bath, water embracing me with heat that makes my muscles unclench for the first time in days.
Steam rises around me with a thick herbal scent from the bath salts and Xander offers his hand for me to steady myself as I lower down into the water and wince as it stings in a few cuts I have on my knees from sliding around that van.
He kneels beside the tub, producing a wash rag and soap.
"Let me," he says and all I can do is yield to him.
I don’t have the strength to fight him, nor do I want to.
I've never seen him so empathetic.
He begins washing me with movements so gentle they bring tears to my eyes.
His hands, capable of such terrible violence, now clean dirt and blood from my skin like he's worshipping me and I break.
My whole body is wracked with sobs and I shake until he wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheeks over and over.
I intended to put my foot down, to tell him it was over.
I was going to hide from him, tell the police, do whatever it takes to make him understand that I am not his possession and that I have to honor my sister's wishes about better choices.
But now I'm not sure what to do.
I can't just walk away from him.
I love him.
And he loves me.
And we're going to have a baby together.
He hasn’t even brought it up but I know when he does, I'll never be able to walk away.
"I thought you wouldn't come," I whisper.
"When they took me, I thought maybe you'd decide I wasn't worth the risk."
His hands still, cupping both of my cheeks, letting the wash rag drop to the water.
"How could you think that?"
"Because the Pakhan told you to let me go. Because I'm just a cleaner and nothing more."
