Page 160 of Blood & Snow
I fill the cup and set it on the sink.
I dip the test strip into the urine and wait.
The instructions say it takes three minutes.
I watch the strip, my heart pounding, my breath coming in short gasps.
One line appears.
Then another.
Two lines.
Positive.
I stare at the strip.
I stare until my vision blurs, until the lines swim together.
Then I press my hand to my mouth and sob.
I'm pregnant.
I'm carrying Xander's child.
The realization crashes over me, drowning me.
I don’tknow if I'm relieved or terrified.
I don’t know if this will save me or kill me.
All I know is that I'm not alone anymore.
There is a fragile, innocent life inside me, and I'll do anything to protect it.
I open the door.
The men are waiting.
I hand the test strip to the doctor.
He looks at it, then nods.
"She is pregnant," he says.
The older man grunts and the blond one smirks.
They drag me back to the stockroom and throw me inside, and I stumble forward as the locks engage again and I'm alone.
I sit on the floor, my arms wrapped around my stomach, and I wait.
I wait for Xander.
I wait for death.
And most of all, I wait for the hope that the miracle of Christmas might happen for me this year.
If not, this will be the last night I live to put faith in anything.
