Page 72 of Blood & Snow
I feel valued and wanted, even if it is by a criminal organization.
"This is your real life now," he says matter-of-factly, and I almost cry.
He's right.
Somewhere between scrubbing floors in crime scenes and falling asleep in his bed, this became real.
More real than any lie I could tell my sister.
More real than my old dreams of finishing university.
"I can't keep lying to them."
"Then don't."
"What am I supposed to say? That I clean up after murders? That I'm sleeping with a man who kills people?"
I press a palm to my face and grimace.
He doesn't understand anything.
Of course, in his world, it makes sense to say, "I met a Mafia man and I'm so in love."
His expression doesn't change.
"You could tell them you found a better job. That you're being taken care of."
"By whom?"
"By me."
His eyes are gunmetal, hardened on me as I flounder.
I so desperately want to be taken care of, but at what cost?
My heart is pulled toward him, but my mind screams to run away.
"Xander, my sister won't be okay with me dating a criminal, let alone working for one."
I feel the same familiar panic leaching into every fiber of my being.
"We'll figure it out."
"That's not an answer," I plead, again covering my face as my elbows rest on my knees.
"It's the only answer I can give you right now."
The car slows and turns into a circular driveway.
I look up and see a massive house lit up for the holidays.
Other cars are parked along the drive, and men in expensive coats walk toward the entrance.
Igor stops the car and gets out to open our door.
Xander steps out first, then offers me his hand.
I hesitate for a moment, then take it.
