Page 30 of Blood & Snow
"Acceptable," he says, the same evaluation he gives my cleaning work.
Relief floods through me at the approval.
I begin gathering my supplies while he pulls on a fresh shirt, careful not to disturb the bandages.
And I have to keep my eyes from looking at him again or noticing how he looks at me.
I'm not foolish enough to accept his offer for "work" every night, but given how vulnerable I am right now, if he made a move, God help me, I'm not sure if I could resist him tonight.
It's a horrible thought, and one I shouldn’t be having, but here I am thinking of what I might have said if his hand had touched me inappropriately while I doctored him.
"Payment for tonight's work."
He hands me another stack of rubles, smaller than previous amounts but still substantial.
I take the money without counting it and avoid looking him in the eye.
This isn't the type of work I thought, but the money is good.
Still, I almost feel bad accepting it.
He needs real medical care.
I'm not a doctor, and I know he's going to be in pain for a while.
"When will you call again?" I ask, keeping my head down.
"When I need you."
The standard answer that could mean hours or days or weeks.
"Keep the phone charged and answer immediately."
"Of course," I say, but I don't move instantly.
Normally, I try to leave as quickly as possible, but I stand here feeling like we have unfinished business.
"You can go," he says, but he doesn't move away either.
"I know," I tell him. "I, uh…"
Something on the tip of my tongue lingers, and I have an insane inward desire for him to make that offer again, the one where he needs me to work regular hours every night.
But I can't say that.
It would be my death for sure if I got involved with a man nearly twice my age who kills people for fun.
"Then why are you still here,Ptichka? Fly away…"
He steps closer until his chest brushes against the back of my arm.
"Before theKhishchnikdevours you for dinner."
The words don't sound like a threat, though.
And they make heat pool at my core as I imagine this terrifying man with his face between my legs, devouring me.
"Goodnight," I say, almost a whisper, and I walk away.
